TMI intimacy in marriage

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 46
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have been sexually active for a decade and only reached orgasim probably less than 10 times. My husband is patient and generous but its mental for me. Ive only been able to climax once by myself, Ive never been comfortable touching myself. I get the same as you..building building then fizzles out or suddenly gets too sensitive and I loose it. But it has happened so I know Im not broken down there or anything, just something I have to work on. But dont take me wrong, I love being intimate and often am the one to initiate. I still get satisfaction and get endorphins going without finishing, I just know its all the better when I can.

Learning how to get yourself there will help you get there with your partner so practice away !! (What Ive been told many times)

Post # 47
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

anoynbee1234 :  If distraction is the issue for you, the other thing I’ve found that helps me with distraction is (TMI alert) having my Fiance talk to me during sex. Not super cheesy dirty talk, but when he tells me, like, how things feel for him or what he wants to do. I’m a very verbal person and talking turns me on and gives me something sexy to keep my brain from randomly filing with unsexy thoughts.

My brain is kind of a hurricane all the time. I struggle with distraction virtually all the time, so it’s not a compatibility issue with my partners. Just how my brain works. It took me a long time to accept that I’m not sexually broken. I just had to figure out what works for me. Wishing you all the best! No solutions are one size fits all and you and your partner will have to be patient and experiment!

Post # 48
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

anoynbee1234 :  I’m an evangelical Christian and I wholeheartedly recommend masturbation in your situation. It’s not about self gratification, it’s about learning so you can make sex better for both of you. At least when learning how, an orgasm is much easier by yourself because you know exactly what is working and isn’t working. 

Post # 49
3 posts
  • Wedding: March 2017

I agree with emsie.  Bullet vibrator on the clitoris rarely lets me down.

Post # 50
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Elliston Vineyards

Yeah, maybe have him try to get you there without PIV so you know what does and doesn’t work for you, then add in intercourse. As other bees have said, most women can’t orgasm on intercourse alone and need stimulation either during or after sex to get them there.

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