Post # 1
My husband and I waited to have sex til we got married and went our honeymoon (he is 29, I am 24) but on our honeymoon, I started feeling gross in my ladybits. Now that we are back and I have gone to the doctor, I was diagnosed with a yeast infection and BV. I heard they are common after losing your virginity, but my sex drive is SOOOO low. I have no energy, my body is not getting aroused, and I feel bad that my husband waited all this time for me to be falling asleep at 8pm after rejecting his advances. The doctor said I can still have sex, since I am on medication and it won’t affect anything.
I am wondering if anyone else got an infection after beginning to have sex, and if the low sex drive will go away? Even when I have energy, I have no desire, even though I am attracted to my husband immensely. I just have this fear that I built sex up too much in my head, and it was different than I expected (and it hurt at first, which made me really sore) and I just won’t want to do it even when I am better. My husband has been extremly understanding and kind, but I want to please him, especially after we waited for so long! Please give me your experiences, and opinions! Sorry for the gross details, and please only give me positive feedback! My husband hasn’t been pushing me, this is just me putting pressure on myself!
Post # 2
jennylynn1425: Well definitely wait until your infection clears up before you try again. Both a yeast infection and BV can cause painful intercourse. However, sex does get better for most women– of course some people have other problems where they have painful sex always. It begins to not hurt and feel good after you do it more and more! Express your concerns to your husband and i’m sure he would be understanding. Also try being on top so you can control the movements while you are still in the hurting phase. That really helped me the first few times I was sexually active. Good luck!! 🙂
Post # 3
jennylynn1425: And it is really common for you to get yeast infections/BV with new partners or I guess first partner. The newly introduced bacteria can throw off your normal flora you already having living peacefully down there and things get out of whack! Also being in a wet bathing suit from your honeymoon (if you went somewhere tropical) probably didn’t help!
Post # 4
jennylynn1425: Just relax! Not many people feel very sexy when they have an infection such as the one you’re dealing with. Allow yourself some time to have the medication kick in and let everything settle down and re-evaluate how you’re feeling then. You guys are newly married so although there’s lots of excitement over exploring that new aspect of your relationship – you have your whole lives to do it. It’s a marathon, not a sprint 😉
There often is a lot of hype around sex and it is completely normal for the reality to be a little different than you may have expected. For many women, it can take a while and a bit of experimenting to figure out what you really enjoy (or don’t!) and to get comfortable with everything. Being able to talk to your Darling Husband about these things is important, so that you can have fun figuring things out together. Remember that sexual intimacy isn’t just about P in V penetration, but a whole variety of activities that can come together to form a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life. Don’t be afraid to tell you Darling Husband what you like and ask for some extra hand or mouth play to make things more enjoyable for you.
Try not to overthink it and worry about things at the moment. Just give yourself a break and then give things a chance to evolve naturally. There is plenty to look forward to, I promise!
Post # 5
jennylynn1425: on the times I have suffered from infection I certainly didn’t feel like I wanted to do sexy time, so don’t worry about that. Once the infection clears up I am sure you will feel more inclined to have sex. Just remember you don’t need to go from no sex to sex all the time and as long as your new hubby is being kind and understanding then all is ok.
Post # 6
Sex will get better for you, I promise. Yeast infection can cause painful sex so don’t worry if it makes you feel like you don’t want it.
But honestly though, I feel very sorry for your husband. If I were you, I would try to force myself a little bit to do kinky stuff apart of intercourse until you feel better. You are newlyweds and I bet he was waiting for so long and was so excited. I would feel sorry for him so much, that I would really try to give him favours, such as BJ and HJ. Express how sorry it makes you feel that you’re sick and make it up to him. Try to make your man happy, sex means a lot to men, and we all know it. Sorry if it’s Too Much Information, but that is honestly what I would do.
Post # 7
jennylynn1425: I’m very prone to UTI’s resulting from sex. I have to take antibiotics after to prevent them. Taking antibiotics regularly can result in yeast infections so I’ve had those too.
I would definitely say do not continue sex while healing from it. Technically you can but it can agitate your symptoms. I had a better time healing when avoiding sex while taking the medication.
I wouldn’t worry about your sex drive. Just focus on healing up. Then start taking a daily lactobacillus acidophilus probiotic. I take it to counteract the antibiotics and, when I remember to stay regular with it, I don’t have yeast infections. The probiotic will also be good for BV.
Post # 8
Also, try to pee immediately/shortly after sex, it helps flush out any bacteria before an infection gets a chance to set in.
Post # 9
karrotcakes: Wow, trying to guilt OP into “making her man happy” while she feels like crap from an infection? Sorry, when someone’s laid up with a sex-related burning down below, that’s the last thing she should have to worry about. Guarantee her husband’s lack of sexytimes doesn’t feel worse than that infection does.
Post # 10
kooshball5: This deserves all the likes…❤️
Post # 11
kooshball5: I just said what I would do. OP can read it and make her own mind up. Surely it is not her fault for getting the infection, it just happened, so no one is trying to ”guilt trip her”. All I said was I would try to show him that the sexual world that I was introduced to during the wedding night intrigues me and that I still find him desirable because they are complete newlyweds who just had their first time together. I can tell from OP’s post that she feels like she still wants to give him pleasure from hm.. let me think, her words like: “but I want to please him, especially after we waited for so long!”.
All I was trying to say is that they both feel like shit about this situation, and that probably he is blaming himself, too, for not being able to do anything about it and feeling helpless that their honeymoon has not been what they both expected. It’s not her fault, but neither it is his.
So yeah, sue me that I love my SO dearly and I would want the fire going after our wedding even in such a helpless situation. There are other ways to “please him” while she heals than sticking it in (which I would never do with yeast infection) and causing her discomfort and pain.
Post # 12
OP was your sex drive low before the infection or did it drop off since you’ve been “delicate”? Only asking because I spent years wondering why I just wasn’t feeling anything, then I came off hormonal BC and it was like a flip had switched (and I’m only 25 so it wasn’t an age thing). Just wanted to put it out there because it really did change everything and it there’s any chance it can do for another woman what it did for me, it’s worth mentioning. I debated doing it for a long time but it seemed a big, scary thing to do. It was 100% worth it and I wish I’d done it much sooner
Other things that can help are getting more exercise (particularly weight lifting involving large muscle groups eg. squats, bench pressing), eating less sugar/refined carbs and more “good” fats, supplements can help (recently started taking maca root tablets and definitely noticed a difference). Lots of these are good in general but I definitely notice that the healthier my body is, the higher my libido.
Make sure you are fully ready and comfortable before you do anything again. If you drink, a glass of wine can help you relax and get into the mood. Make sure your husband lets you be kissy and cuddly without always trying to turn it into something mo re – it’s important that you feel able to be affectionate without worrying it’s going to turn into something you don’t want at that moment. Because you waited till you were older with someone you love, it’s natural to build it up so much, but honestly, sex is always a bit awkward and silly at first. Those of us who started in our teens will tell you it took a looong time to get going properly, but fortunately you have someone older and (hopefully) wiser who actually wants it to be good for both of you. If you don’t already know how/where you like to be touched, find out on your own so you can show him.
I hope something here is of use to you. It’s going to be okay, bee!
Post # 13
Thanks for all the input! I am still on one of the antibiotics, and my sex drive comes and goes. Before we got married, I could barely keep my hands off him, which was why this was so surprising to experience when we were finally able to let loose! I had never felt like this before, and we were both a little worried. I have been more affectionate with him, while explaining that my body doesn’t feel ready for sex quite yet. He has been completely understanding, and incredible. Our dating anniversary was a few days ago, so to be cheesy, he bought me flowers and took me to my favorite restaurant which happened to be our first date spot. I got a little tipsy on the wine, started talking sexy until we left, and then fell asleep on the ten minute car drive home! My poor husband was nothing but kind, and helped me into the house, stripped me out of my dress and pretty lingerie I bought just for the night, and we did nothing but snuggle. That was sweet, and when I realized that he took his vows serious and truly loves me. Obviously I knew long before that, but it was a nice reminder that I am the one who is so concerned about the (lack of) sex.
Anyway, my libido is slowly increasing and I have five more days of medicine. I appreciate all the advice and help, and I think it will go back to normal newlywed activities soon. 🙂
I was so worried, and you all helped my fears. 🙂
Post # 14
Most meds make me feel like crap so when I’m on anything other than my normal daily synthroid and protonix, yeah, sexy time. Not so much.
SO loves me and knows when to cuddle and spoon vs the act. And, he knows that I more than make up for it when I’m not on meds.
Give yourself some time and room and remind your Darling Husband that you love him even if you’re not “into” him right now.
Post # 15
Well yes yeast infections are the literal worst. I was getting them every few months for awhile (I think being on birth control can make you more susceptible), but now I take probiotics every day and it has cut way down on the amount of yeasty doom in my life.
Another tip for once your infection clears up: FOREPLAY. Not sure to what extent you and your husband messed around, if at all, before the wedding, but foreplay is crucial! I hated sex for the longest time…in retrospect it’s cause my first bf would just stick it in without any foreplay (neither of us knew any better), and I am not someone who gets off on p in v sex, so it really did nothing for me.