TMI post: Was it weird having sex with someone new?

posted 10 months ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t say it was difficult, but it was odd at first. I was with my ex for almost 16 years. After we separated, it felt strange to kiss other people and be physically intimate, but it wasn’t difficult for me. After a while, it wasn’t odd anymore. 

Post # 3
Member
1273 posts
Bumble bee

sallyloves90 :  yes, very weird. I had a  monogamous, 25 yr marriage  since I was 17. 

It would have been easy to stay scared and not pursue intimacy. knew I would have to get over it to allow me to be sexually healthy. 

I made sure my first sexual experiences post-divorce were with someone I knew a long time, and that I trusted and would respect me. We had a 4 month relationship that didn’t progress. 

It did allow me to get over my fears. 

Post # 4
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

It’s definitely different. I wouldn’t say difficult, but it’s new. Every time I have sex with a new person, there’s a mixture of excitement and “Oh shit, how is this going to go!?”-type anxiety floating around in my head. Just be kind to yourself and find a partner who’s patient. Do your best to live in the moment instead of comparing (favorably or unfavorably) to your previous partner(s). 

Post # 5
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

It was not difficult, but it was SO DIFFERENT! Super unfamiliar territory.

My ex and I were together for 11 years. My husband and I have been together for close to three years now, and I still marvel at the differences sometimes, since they were all for the better. \o/

Post # 6
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

lifetimegoals :  same here!  I was nervous about it but it was like riding a bike and so amazing to have good sex again!!  I had forgotten what I had been missing. I was with my ex husband for 10 years and sex was pretty terrible.  Everything with my current boyfriend is better – chemistry, foreplay “size”..  😉  

Post # 7
Member
2656 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe a bit different, but it was also so freeing and amazing to be with new men.

my exH was so insecure and anything beyond missionary was not allowed.  So I welcomed strange.

Post # 8
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I was in an LTR before I met my Fi. I thought it would be weird but it wasn’t at all! But my ex was a total psycho so that probably helped. 

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