posted 5 months ago in Married Life
Post # 31
14 posts

Depends on how much you love the guy. Are you gonna start resenting him for not going down on you? Is this super critical? 

He should however be alright with using other methods to make you orgasm. Have you tried using a bullet? I personally haven’t, but I’ve read it works well to stimulate and get you off during sex. There’s also the good ol’ fashion way of using your or his finger, there’s lots of positions that allow easy access. 

+1 on this “Don’t focus on the fact that you go down in him. Focus on the fact that he doesn’t try to get you off.  That’s the deal breaker not the fact that he won’t go down on you.” 

Post # 32
401 posts
Helper bee

maevat :  Per my husband, some women have stronger natural scents fresh out of the shower than others do after a five mile run.  Probably a slight exaggeration, but I agree that certain men do smell different/better than others and that’s an important part of sexual compatibility.  You need to see if your fiancé’s objection to giving you oral is your scent not some theoretical ex’s because that would be my honest assumption.  

If your scent is the issue try a Brazilian wax (if you’re comfortable) as hair seems cause a stronger smell down there.  

You not regularly climaxing is a separate issue (but damn important issue) unless you can only climax from oral stimulation. 

Post # 33
42 posts
  • Wedding: June 2017

Some people have a gag reflex (like me!)… it might actually make him really uncomfortable and anxious, and I wouldn’t want my partner to feel that way in bed together. So we know what each other is willing to do and enjoys doing-, because the experience has to be pleasurable for everyone. Maybe you can discuss it and find another method that gives you equal pleasure. 

Post # 34
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If OP was saying her husband was trying to make her do something sexual she wasn’t comfortable with, everyone would be on her side telling her she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. I would extend the same courtesy to him. However he does have to find some way to make it work for you, fingers etc. 

Post # 35
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

He said he didn’t like the taste when he tried it with someone else years ago. That was not you. Different people produce different tasting/smelling bodily fluids. He needs to give you a try before saying no. There are also plenty of flavored lubes that you can incorporate, if needed. 

Post # 36
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

i think you should definitely talk to him. let him know that such actions would be greatly appreciated in bed since you do go down on him. if he says he does not want to, ask him why to get a better understanding of what his issue with it is. 

Post # 37
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

This is a dealbreaker for me. I would not date a guy for 4 months (let alone 4 years) who would not go down on me. 

Post # 38
511 posts
Busy bee

Could you use flavoured oral lubes? 

I hate giving bjs so he doesn’t get them often but he does get them.

For your FI to not even try it with you, a new partner since last time, sounds unfair and selfish. 

I’d take a break on the old bjs, don’t say why, just maybe that you don’t feel like it and I’ll bet it starts a convo up in a couple of weeks time.

Post # 39
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

edit – Old bumped topic lol that I already replied to.

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