Post # 16
Yeah I’m just like your fiance and no it’s not going to work. You will need to start with the smallest finger and work up. It’s really, really painful just with a finger. Your penis definitely will not fit in for a very long time. You really have to work at stretching it out over time. Doesn’t matter how wet or aroused she is, it’s not going to work if you don’t do it that way. That is my experience.
Post # 17
I agree she needs to see a gynecologist. In highschool I had a friend who had the same type of pain and inability to penetrate. I don’t know the specifics of her case exactly, I believe it was that her hymen was large and hardened and she needed to have it removed surgically. It was just day surgery and I know she was able to use tampons etc afterwards. Actually, she just had a baby a couple weeks ago, so it seems things are all in order.
The things you are describing remind me so much of my friend, I think it would be beneficial for your Fiance to see a gynecologist. If she can’t endure even light touching there’s no amount of research you can do to make this comfortable for her
Post # 18
ArcadiaRose : Thank you! That’s so helpful! One question: I’ve read some women describing a ‘stretching’ (where they feel a painful and slowly-but-progressively less uncomfortable sensation as their hymen stretches to accommodate larger things). Other describe a ‘breaking’ (where there’s a sharp but brief moment of pain, but after that relative comfort one that piece of tissue is broken). Are these two different experiences? Or just the same experience described differently? Stretching sounds more appealing, as the idea of flexing something until it breaks sounds [more] painful.
For others: she’s seen an OBGYN, but they didn’t raise any concerns. This could be because we live outside the US in Asia, where it’s more common to wait until marriage and discussing these issues is a little more taboo, even with a physician.
Thank you all!