- 5 years ago
(I’m sorry in advanced but this will be a long one. I created a new name here in case any one I know has been following my posts under my original name”
My current dilemma is should we include groom’s mom’s name in the invitation.
-her and i have a pretty good relationship. she is a bit much at times but she is over all a nice lady. But a couple of months ago i found out some stuff. GM’s uncle had been upset with me for something i never said but groom’s mom told him i had. When we found out that GM’s mom had been manipulating us all just so that we would not be on good terms with his uncle (since she is not), I decided that i was not going to trust her like i used to before. That i believe was the turning point.
When I asked her oldest daughter to be a bridesmaid she asked Groomsmen why i had not asked her if GM’s little sister could be the flower girl. At this point I thought it was just a given that she would be the Flower Girl but I did go over to her house a couple of weeks later and I did mention it to her, just to ease her. I had told her that the wedding is more than a yr away and that we didnt need to worry about Flower Girl dresses at this point and probably wont until a couple of months before. I thought the situation was resolved at that point. A couple of weeks ago, GM’s mom contacts her asking if the little sister is still going to be a Flower Girl. Groomsmen says yes and she says that she didnt know since i havent spoken to her about it and that i dont talk to her about anything wedding related. To be honest, I had not even thought about Flower Girl dresses since im planning a wedding from 3000 miles away and have a full time job and i do know how easy it is to purchase a dress for a Flower Girl. So this week i sent her a text to let her know that i would be calling her later in teh afternoon to answer any of the questions or concerns she might have. Her response was basically that she did not know what i was talking about since she did not know her daugter would be a Flower Girl and that she doesn’t know anything about the wedding. Then she went on to say that i can just call Groomsmen and talk to him about this and that it is fine if i prefer some one else as a Flower Girl over his baby sister (this is something that i never even considered. that little girl is a big part of his life and ultimately mine as well) So this new turn of events has been pretty baffeling to Groomsmen and I. He believes that she is upset that she knows nothing wedding related and called her a diva for overracting to something so simple. Im sure there has to be more to her getting so upset over this but Groomsmen thinks i should not call her and speak to her at this point since she hung up on him when he tried to talk to her about it.
When we first got engaged she stressed the fact that the bride’s parents pay for the wedding. She would say things like “good thing your parents have to help you guys or did you know that the bride’s parents pay?” We had asked her if she could help us out with wedding things. Not just monetary, which she said she could not afford( but is spending almost 4gs for her daughters 3rd bday party), but just helping us out with things since we are so far away. We asked her to pick up a new baptism certificate that the church was requiring around april of 2013. It is now December and she still has not gotten said paper. So i feel like she is not a person i can rely on for important things. If it doesnt concern her, she does not attempt to make it even her 6th priority.
I have spoken to Groomsmen about the situation and he just brushes it off. He says that he is used to her diva antics and knows she is just upset becasue the wedding is not regarding her and we arent telling her much, something Groomsmen prefers. I am not her daughter though and i can’t just brush it off and i do not like drama.
On that note, I was not going to add parents names on the invite but when my mom found out i was working on invites she asked me how her name is going to be since she still uses her maiden name. My parents are helping is with about 20% of the total wedding budget. Does this mean I now have to add GM’s mom’s name? I know that ettiqute sugests that i do not since they are not paying. Groomsmen doesn’t care if her name is there and says he we should go by what the ettiqute stuff says.
Hope you guys can shed some new light on this. Im kind of torn.