To add or not to add?

posted 1 year ago in Paper
Post # 2
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m sorry to say this but I am not sure you’ll get any legitimate responses here on how to word that in an invitation. Guests should not have to pay for anything, that is very rude and TACKY in my opinion. The wedding-bee community feels very strongly about this – host the wedding you can afford and only that. 

Post # 3
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I wouldn’t include it. Use word of mouth at the reception to let people know you’ll be going out to dinner afterward, and that they are welcome to join you if they’d like. It should then be assumed that they’d need to cover their own bill.

Post # 4
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

Don’t word it on your invites. Just mention ceremony followed by cake and refreshments. Ask your mom or someone close to you to spread the dinner idea through word of mouth.

Post # 5
Member
2503 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I agree with PP’s, leave it off the invite. It’s kind of awkward honestly, if I was told people were going out to dinner following the ceremony i’d assume it’s paid for by the B&G in lieu of a reception. My Brother-In-Law did this when he got married and they paid for the dinner. 

Post # 7
Member
7842 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Do not include it. Very rude to “invite” someone to pay for themselves.

Post # 8
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
FutureMrsA2020 :  A ceremony at a park with punch and cake, followed by a dinner, is most certainly a wedding. You are just passing off the costs of a reception to your guests to pay for meals. I still stand by the opinion that this entire concept is rude to me, regardless of what your invitations say or don’t say. 

ETA – a reception is the way of thanking the guests for watching your ceremony, which you are essentially now not doing. 

Post # 9
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

You can’t do that.  Have the cake and punch reception, then go home.

Post # 10
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019

If you can’t afford a full dinner for 20 maybe have canapes? These people have made an effort to dress up and come out for your wedding, they deserve a bit more than just punch and cake, and I’d be pretty annoyed at anything less than some canapes or finger food to be honest. Or maybe host a dinner at your house that will be cheaper? It’s in bad taste to have any kind of celebratory dinner after your wedding that you dont pay for.

Post # 11
Member
13212 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
FutureMrsA2020 :  It is a wedding, there’s nothing technical about it. Either serve cake and refreshments at a time when a meal is not expected or invite people to dinner, or both, but it would be totally inappropriate to ask or expect people to pay. 

Post # 12
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - Saint Louis, MO

As other posts above suggested I would not include it on the invite. After you can just invite everyone to join you for dinner after if they would like. 

Post # 13
Member
308 posts
Helper bee

If you want to go for dinner with family and friends on your wedding day then you should pay for it. Set aside $10 a week between now and your wedding day and you will have enough to cover a meal for your guests.

Post # 14
Member
7480 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If it’s on the invitation you are inviting, ie hosting them. So don’t put it on the invitation. There is nothing wrong with a cake and punch celebration outside of meal time. Just leave it at that and have dinner with your new husband if you can’t afford to host your guests.

It could get confusing even word-of-mouth to let people know you expect them to pay for their own meal at your wedding celebration. Just don’t. Stick with what you can do. 

Post # 15
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

 If your wedding date is correct (Oct 2020) (?) Then you have about 18+ months to save enough to pay for the dinner.  Even if dinner was $50 a head @ 20 people, that’s $1000. That’s about $55 a month or $13pw to save. It seems doable to me?

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