(Closed) To all Catholics – Nuptual mass or not

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are having our ceremony on a Friday night and we are having a full Catholic mass. Is there a reason why you can’t have a full mass on a Sunday? I’m a little confused, as well.

Post # 4
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not Catholic but my fiance is, and we are getting married in a Catholic church. SO since I’m not Catholic we aren’t doing a full mass. We got our wedding planning sheet and really the only difference is we don’t do communion. But all the other parts are the same and totally ‘official.’ so i wouldn’t worry about that. its all a matter of what you prefer and feel is best for you. you will still have the same vows and everything else. so do what you want to do, if a Sunday works better for you then go for it!

Post # 5
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Also, not having a full mass won’t make it any less “official” as I understand it. We were given the option by both our wedding coordinator at our church and our priest of having communion or not. Since we are both Catholic, we decided to have a full mass. But do what works best for you and your Fiance.

Post # 6
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It won’t be any less official – we’re not doing a full mass because my fiance is not Catholic. Both ceremonies are fully recognized by the Catholic church.

If its super important to you to have a full mass, you should probably consider sticking with Saturday so you have the ceremony you want…but if it doesn’t make a huge difference and the money is a big concern, I think the scaled-back ceremony on Sunday is a great option too (your guests might even appreciate it if its slightly shorter! Catholic ceremonies are notoriously long…)

Post # 7
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you are BOTH Catholic, this is my opinion… and it’s something close to my heart…

YES, do a full mass. This is one of 6 receivable sacraments in your life, you and your spouse to be are joining together with God in a mirror image of the trinity… while you are the ones who perform the sacrament, it’s an amazing way in which we come together just as Christ loved his bride the church. Christ gave his bride the ultimate gift, himself. Every time we celebrate mass, we are celebrating the ultimate marriage.  Every time we “make love” we will be renewing our vows just as Christ does with his church at every mass.  We have the chance to receive that gift every time we go to mass, and in the case of our wedding where we are coming together in mirror image of him, how can we not invite him? I honestly CAN’T imagine not allowing Jesus to be physically present at our wedding, since we have the opportunity too.

Post # 8
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m surprised you’re allowed to have it on Sunday at all!

Its not less official to get married without a Mass.  In fact, the Nuptial Mass historically was meant for royality.  That said, I think its great to have your own private Mass offered for the sancity of your marriage is wonderful.    But overall its really up to you.  Without the Mass, the ceremony will be shorter and any non religious relatives would probably prefer it.  But religious relatives might wonder why you didn’t have a Mass.  It ultimately depends on how you value the Mass and what makes sense for your ceremony.

That said, my preference would be to have the Mass simply because the Mass is really the center of Catholic worship.  Heck, if I could pull it off, I’d ask our priest to open the church up the night before for Eucharistic adoration.  It’d be a wonderful way to calm my nerves and to place all my anxieties about the following day into the hands of God.  But I feel the priest is already bending over backwards for us and I’m not sure how late the rehersal dinner will go..not to mention that we’re waking up super early. 

If you do have your wedding on Sunday, do make sure you make it to Sunday Mass whether its the vigil the night before or early on Sunday. 

Post # 9
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

What about a friday? Most churches I know don’t allow weddings at ALL no matter how short on sundays! lol.

Another thing to consider – at least in a nuptial mass, not completely sure of a ceremony… but, even without a full mass, the only thing left out is the Eucharistic prayers and communion. You still have readings, homily, our father, petitions, etc… If you were to have it on a Sunday, you may have to use that Sunday’s readings… 

Post # 11
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We were given the choice to have our wedding ceremony performed within the Mass or outside of the Mass (but on a Saturday either way).  I am under the impression that having your wedding outside of Mass does not make it less official in anway way.  In fact, our parish suggests it for weddings when only one side of the family is Catholic.

Post # 12
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We aren’t having the full mass because I haven’t had my first communion :(, so celebrating the Eucharist would be kind of awkward.  I think it would be difficult to find a priest and church that would allow you to have your ceremony on a non-Saturday  Our church does three masses on Sunday.  I think the last thing our priest would want to do is ANOTHER mass.

Post # 13
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Our church doesn’t allow any services on Sundays because they are too busy already. They have five masses every Sunday and no time for any others! However, they do allow you to hold them any other day of the week as long as you arrange it in advance.

However, my FI’s church is in a very rural area with a traveling priest who is only there for the one mass on Sundays, so weddings can be any day of the week.

Post # 14
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Our church has about 5 masses on Sundays, so there is no way to have a wedding on that day.  We are actually not doing the full mass, mainly because none of my family or friends are Catholic.  I’m receiving my first Communion this Easter, but we thought having a full wedding mass where only his family gets to take part would distract from the fact that taking communion is about unity.  Plus they would be uncomfy, knowing my family 🙂

Post # 15
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We are doing a full mass.  But not having one will not make it unofficial or less official. 

Post # 16
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think we are doing a full mass, we are still making that decision though.  We are getting married on a Saturday afternoon.  It is really important to my mother to have a full mass, but FH doesn’t want “a really long ceremony,” so who knows where we will end up.

My best friend was married last August and did not have the full mass.  It was still a very nice ceremony.

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