(Closed) To all of you that are already married – Did any of you HATE your wedding day?

posted 4 years ago in Recaps
Post # 2
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

I’m sure someone, somewhere feels that way. If you boil it down, a wedding is a huge party with a lot of moving parts and people involved. Things are bound to go wrong.

I think you can prevent ‘disliking every aspect’ by doing soul-searching and really sticking to your values and priorities, instead of other peoples’. But logistically, things can always go wrong.

That’s why it’s best to focus on the fact that – yay, you’re officially marrying the person you love!

Post # 3
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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@ kelly22790   My wedding went mostly as planned except my in laws went completely insane 1 week before the wedding. The rehearsal dinner was EXTREMELY awkward and the wedding day was also extremely awkward with ANY part involving in laws (MIL screamed at me for 40 minutes for me not arranging her hair and makeup and Father-In-Law lectured me for another 40 minutes of the importance of bringing a dowry to be welcomed into HIS family the week before when they showed their true colors). 

DH and I largely ignored their dramatic tendencies but the most annoying part was when our wedding coordinator came up to us during the reception to ask us for help because Mother-In-Law was BERATING her and demanding that the coordinator switch their seats to mirror my family. DH and I did the seating chart and he put his family in a table that wasn’t exactly the mirror image of my family was because he wanted his 90 year old grandma to be closer to the restrooms… He had to get up in the middle of the program because Mother-In-Law was screaming at the wedding coordinator about her seat. 

Post # 4
Member
9576 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think this happens only when you have a wedding you never wanted just to please others. Or maybe for people who have a bad family dynamic- you typically can’t bottle that up for one day, people are who they are. Or you get so swept up in the details you lost sight of the big picture- so the wrong color peach roses show up and boom wedding ruined. If you have perspective about what really matters and plan an event you’re genuinely excited about it’ll be a great day* . My wedding day was definitely the happiest of my life! The whole weekend was The Best. 

 

*barring an actual disaster like a death or something.

Post # 5
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

When DH and I got on the plane the night of our wedding I looked at him and told him I hated our wedding, because so many things went wrong, he agreed and we made an agreement not to say anything negative until we got home from our honeymoon.

 

We got back and had our painting done, and our pictures delievered, yes alot of things went wrong but hearing people talk about how much fun they had, and the awesome pictures we got really made up for it, I no longer feel this way about my wedding, it was an amazing day, but I could have done without all the vendor drama that happened to me >.<

Post # 6
Member
3441 posts
Sugar bee

Nothing went wrong at our wedding, but I was just really stressed about hosing a party for 100 people that flew in from out of town. And being the center of attention. Looking back, it was a ton of fun, but I wish I would have been able to relax a little more. I’m just not a “look at me, all of you people” type of person. 

Post # 7
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

My wedding went off with very few problems, but I wouldn’t say I liked it.

I wanted to elope, but planned and paid for a wedding basically for our families’ sakes. $10,000 gone… for one night. So that didn’t make me happy.

But I love my husband, all’s well that ends well I guess! I managed to smile through it all and pretend it was what I wanted.

Post # 8
Member
1806 posts
Buzzing bee

I loved my day and am so grateful it went off without a hitch.

But there have been so many posts from ladies on here that had paragraphs of serious issues to vent about. So yeah–there are posts about how everything seemed to go wrong, from soup to nuts. You can do a search for “hated my wedding” or “went wrong” and I’m betting 1000s of things will pop up.

Post # 9
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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@ kelly22790   My wedding was two weeks ago and I was SUPER stressed out. I cried in the lobby of the hotel the morning of because my bridesmaids were all hungover and being lazy and not helping me do ANYTHING. DH and I were an hour late to our rehearsal dinner the night before because I was dealing with venue issues. I already don’t handle stress well and even though my wedding day was BEAUTIFUL and mostly went well, there were a few things that happened that really bothered me and I hated how anxious, nervous, and generally uncomfortable I felt the whole day because I had to be “on” the whole time. During it, I really wanted it to just be over and to go back to the hotel with DH. But once we got to the hotel, I was like, OH NO, IT’S OVER!!!! I wish I could have just relaxed and really enjoyed it…but that would have been impossible. Looking back, it is still the best day of my life because I married the love of my life and a truly great man. Plus, the weather was perfect and I have honestly never felt so beautiful in my entire life. So that really helped!! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We had enough go wrong but nothing ruined it. The hair and make-up people were two hours late, setting our schedule back a bit and made the ladies cranky (well, I was), couldn’t find the limo to get to the venue, the venue forgot the mimosa bar we confirmed, the wrong music played during the ceremony. There is no point in getting upset on any of it. It will only fluster you more. You just need to accept it and move on. 

 

Post # 11
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I loved our wedding. Things went wrong. However, I approached the day with the full knowledge that we were having that type of celebration for everyone else, I’d already let go our dream wedding. I also accepted that things go wrong and it would never look the way it did in my mind.

It’s one of those things that’s so hard to predict what will happen and how you will feel that I feel the more people try to predict it, the more they try to say something has to be like that or it’s ruined; the more likely they are to get upset about it and hate/resent/regret these things. I’m not saying don’t care but in every moment of planning there should be an element of ‘whats the worst that will actually happen’?

Post # 12
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

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@ jollybee147   good grief and I thought a univited guest yelling at me for having what she considered to be a ‘selfish and extravagant wedding’ was bad. At least I never had to see her again after she got ushered out of the place!

Your Mother-In-Law did this to you? She’s lucky she’s got you for a Daughter in law, my husband and I would probably have not been so understanding. It sounds like you handled it well.

curious, what happened after the problem with the seating? Did Mother-In-Law calm down at all? Hope so, for your sake! I’m sorry acted this way. Families can be tough can’t they?

Post # 13
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I hated our wedding, a few things went wrong, although nothing too too terrible. I didn’t really want a big wedding to begin with but did it for my husband and his family. I cringe looking back at the amount of money we spent. I wish we eloped in the Caribbean honestly (alone!!). I don’t even really like looking at the pictures. Our marriage is awesome though, so there’s that! 

Post # 14
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee

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@ KatesTheWord     I didn’t hate our wedding but I feel kind of similar to you!  I never wanted a big wedding but went ahead with it while trying really hard not to get caught up in all the pinteresty things and must haves.  We did Costco cake, one set of chairs, no ceremony decor, no guest book, no favors, no programs, no chair covers, limited photo package, lots of things to save but still spent close to $19,000 (including invites, postage, thank yous, hotel room, everything) and I’m cringing at the amount and wishing we just put the $ toward buying the house.  I hope one day I’m happy to have had those memories with friends and family, it was a good time, I felt beautiful, I felt in love, our ceremony was special – BUT it really all went by so fast that it was basically the waste of money I thought it would be! 

Post # 15
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Nothing really went “wrong” per se, but I was counting down the seconds until we could leave. I don’t think any of it was really worth it, and if I had a do over I’d just elope and be done with it. Nothing like planning a wedding to discover you don’t really like weddings lol 

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