(Closed) To all of you that are already married – Did any of you HATE your wedding day?

posted 4 years ago in Recaps
Post # 16
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Mmm, I didnt HATE my day, but, I definitely dont feel it was the most magical special perfect day of my entire life either. I was excited and looking forward to being a wife more than a bride if that makes sense. The bride part was a means to an end lol. A few things went wrong as expected with all the plans, but nothing big enough to ruin it. I maybe feel I didnt make the most of the day, but it goes by so fast. I did feel a bit guilty for a while that I wasnt one of these girls who thinks their wedding day was the most special day ever, but then I realised Im not like that and thats fine. I also wonder how many people secretly  do feel the day was good but not GREAT. We’re very happily married, thats what matters. And I know all of our guests enjoyed it, and commented that I looked like the happiest bride they had seen, so what do i know? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 17
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Im not married yet but I do want to point out that I think a lot of dissatisfaction comes from people expecting it to be “the best day of their lives”. I hate that saying and I cringe at those “best day ever” cake toppers and what not. It’s a day, hopefully a really good fun day that goes pretty smooth and you’ll look back on with fond memories. But expecting it to be the best day EVER is setting yourself up to fail. 

Post # 18
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

As a PP said, a wedding is a big party with lots of moving parts. Things will inevitably go wrong at some point. However, I think if those things actually ruin the day for the bride/groom then perhaps they aren’t focusing on the things they should. A wedding isn’t about the music, or the food, or the party favors. It isn’t about the perfect flowers or the perfect dress. A wedding is two people declaring to the world that they want to love this person for the rest of their days. It is about the love they have for each other, the love they have for their guests, and the love and support the guests are giving them when they attend the wedding.

We had several things go wrong on our August 20, 2016 wedding day, the main one being the hotel AC breaking down on our 105F degree wedding day, but I LOVED our wedding day. I LOVED it and TREASURE those precious moments (even though I can’t remember 75% of the day. Not kidding. We are really looking forward to getting the photos and video back because then we can see what the wedding day looked like :-P)

Are there things that bug me about the day when I look back? You bet. Our cake practically melting like butter in our sweltering reception space, a cousin unexpectedly brought her daughter (in a tie dye t-shirt no less) to our formal, kid-free wedding, and many of our photos have lovely plastic box fans in them (our attempts at keeping guests as comfortable as possible). We even had a ridiculously drunk guest force us to close up the bar and DJ earlier than planned. Stuff goes wrong.

But there are many more moments of pure joy and love that outweigh all of those things. The look on my husband’s face during our first look, hearing the love and intention behind the vows he wrote, having our families get along so seamlessly. Mending family ties that had been frayed for many years was another big (and unexpected) gift that came out of the wedding.

Post # 19
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
@ kelly22790   You’re getting married on my hubby’s birthday ๐Ÿ™‚

To answer your question, no. I personally enjoyed my wedding day! It felt like a long day though, so hubby and I were so relieved when we could go back to our hotel room and take a nap! lol We had a morning ceremoy so the nap came after that, pictures, and brunch with our family. We caught our second wind and had fun exploring the city (NYC) together and having dinner with his family. We wore Mr. & Mrs. t-shirts around town, and everyone we came across congratulated us, older couples offered words of wisdom and well wishes…. It was a great day, and I hope yours is too! 

Post # 20
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Not at all – but I would have been just as happy to have had a courthouse ceremony, followed by a nice meal with our family and best friends. My husband really wanted a wedding so we had one – a very nice one. 

Post # 21
Member
4227 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I had to start planning my wedding from scratch five months before the big day. Though we cut every corner possible and did most of the work ourselves, we couldn’t afford a dream wedding by any stretch of the imagination. That being said it was a GREAT wedding…sure it wasn’t 100% what I wanted, but it worked out ok ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My wedding was quite upsetting to me.   I wish I had eloped.  I didn’t have a chance to destress from the leadup so my resillance to little things wasn’t where it should have been if I had been nurtured and practicing self care like I might in other stressful situations.  Nothing serious happened – bumps really… but they made me sad.   I couldn’t even look at the pictures for a while without crying (sad crys).   Eventually that sadness passed and I love my wedding photos and video now and finally feel like I should have that day… but no,  the day was not a happy day.   I loved marrying but not getting married. 

Post # 23
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

Not married yet, but I wanted to elope from the beginning and wish we had. Wedding planning has been easy, but people are pissed they aren’t invited, and we are spending so much money we could have spent on our house. I wish I hadn’t put everyone’s needs ahead of my own. I’m hoping that I enjoy the day when it comes.

Post # 24
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The wedding day was the happiest of the 365 days of that year. I hated everyone and everything up until that day, then suddenly everything was sunshine and giggles on the actual day.

 

Post # 25
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@ kelly22790   My wedding was very stressful for me.

My younger sister was struggling with her health and I hate the best man. So he was there dispite me not wanting him to be there, and my sister was sick. However, I loved my wedding day because I adore my husband and I was amazed how much little things didn’t worry me. However, if I could really change something it would be not having the best man there, my husband feels the same way because he stopped talking to us the day after the wedding and still owes us for his suit rental.

But change my wedding, no. I loved it. Dispite the idiot lol

Post # 26
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Well, picture this:

You decide to have your dream wedding, which more or less consists of you, your darling FH, four close friends and a civil ceremony in the most regal, elegant City Hall. You have the perfect vintage bright red silk dress, your honey has his favorite vintage style pinstripe suit, a pair of vintage milgrain wedding bands from Tiffany’s and instead of reception you plan on leaving for a short holiday on a Greek island.

And then, news travel. Fast. His family got to know, your family got to know. And suddenly you find yourself with dozens of relatives and friends and old friends who want to travel from the other side of the country just to be there for your wedding, and parents starting to push for the more formal, traditional thing, and you have nor the time neither the money for it -and did i mentioned this was NOT your dream wedding?- but after all the pressing you decide to let your dream go (or at least most of it) and please parents and relatives.

In order to make this possible, and being on a super tight budget, your wedding becomes a huge DIY project, where you prepare almost everything from scratch: ceremony and dinner party decoration, guest book, wedding favors, invitations, music for the party, video and photo shooting, bridal makeup and best of all? food and wedding cake since the dinner was to be held in our garden.

So, when the day arrived, I hated it. Or at least half of it.

We were both tired, I had insomnia the night before and HAD to get up really early (God knows I’m NOT a morning person), I had lost weight during the last couple of weeks without realizing it and the dress had to be altered that very same morning, the hairdresser was not in time, our best man decided to surprise us with a band that came over to serenade to us -while I was trying to finish my makeup-, the car with driver we had arranged supposedly messed up the adress and never showed up, my heels were killing me (not easy task wearing 5.9 inch heels when most of the day you are with running shoes), and when we finally left the house we realized nobody had remembered to take the house keys, so at the end we had to pay for a locksmith to open the door for us.

I did not know if I wanted to cry, scream, or run away from it all… I yelled at my fiance, I yelled at my mom, I was frustrated, over stressed, tired. During the ceremony my body was there, but my mind not. I barely remember any of it, BUT when it was over, it was like a miracle happened. Suddenly I realized that the most important thing of all was the man beside me holding my hand.

After that, everything went smoothly. I felt happy, calm, more beautiful than ever, the photo shooting was a huge success as was our dinner and party afterwards.

Sometimes I still long for our “dream wedding”, but at the end I would not change a thing of our wedding day. I just wished I was not so stressed so I could enjoy each and every moment of it.

Post # 27
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I am not married yet but my sister told me that she hated her wedding. She combined her wedding with her daughters baptism and I believe it was all just too much for her. It was only 20ish people, in a castle where everything was served and taken care of. We all had a great time and didn’t feel like there was anything going wrong with the wedding. But it still was all just too much. And at the end of the night she fought with her husband for the first time they have ever been together. My lesson learned… I will not get married pregnant or with a newborn!!! lol

Post # 28
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I had been a bit worried the month leading up to the wedding, that I wouldn’t enjoy myself but 10days out, once our guests started arriving, I kinda found I neither had the time nor the desire to stress over the last few things that I thought would totally make or break our wedding. (And it didn’t anyway lol) 

DH and I agree that our day was awesome, sure there were a few hiccups here and there, such as… the wrong songs being played, his grandma taking half an hour in the bathroom and delaying our ceremony, people stepping on my dress and tearing my bustle but honestly? I don’t really care. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 29
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Hi! I didn’t hate it at all and in theory it was a massive success but afterwards I felt a bit depressed and regretful. All because for the latter half I felt physically dreadful as I was so tired, exhausted and got indigestion/headache. I wanted to be a fun bride who had a few drinks and hung out with her groom being the happy exctatic couple all evening but we got split up talking to guests. I wish I could go back and get a lot more sleep before the event and feel myself, not bleary eyed and ill. Tiredness was all that stood between a perfect day and one that made me feel anxious afterwards. I take all the blame for that myself.

If yours didn’t go well, don’t worry. It’s just a day and you are married now. If you hated it because you learnt you hate weddings, as least it’s over! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 30
Member
36 posts
Newbee

Me. Twice. The first time was a big wedding. My future Mother-In-Law and SIL took over and made it into the wedding they’d always wanted but never had. We were young and not able to pay, my family couldn’t/wouldn’t help, so my Mother-In-Law decided what she wanted for her son, paid for and chose everything. Bigger story behind this, I won’t bore you but it was awful. I had all the trimmings and was very uncomfortable. It felt like although I was the bride I was guest starring in someone else’s dream – which I was.

Second time I eloped because I didn’t want a repeat of fiasco number one. Ironically I discovered eloping was much more convenient but also lonely. Just he and I in comfortable clothes, one friend to witness, major blowing off of all the traditions. Went back home happy it was done but also sort of empty. 

I’m still married and have been for a long time so this is it, I won’t be doing it again, but if I could redo I’d take a lot more time and do things on my own (and his) terms. Hindsight.

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