(Closed) To all of you that are already married – Did any of you HATE your wedding day?

posted 4 years ago in Recaps
Post # 31
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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ifiyenia :  I hear you.  Tiredness and stress!!!Your original plan sounded lovely but I’m sure your guests were so pleased to celebrate with you and that is great in itself. Happy married life to you, bee! xxx

Post # 32
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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leonatigra :  True, this was great in itself. Now, when I look at the photos of the wedding and see the happiness and joy in their faces it feels great 🙂

Post # 33
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Backyard

There were a lot of things that didn’t go as planned. My parents were not able to be as active as they hoped due to health issues. The food arrived an hour late. We had taken heat and rain into consideration but not wind. It was very windy. The keyboard player accidentally hit a button that played a rap beat as I was about to walk down the aisle…twice. We had a lot of problems with the music at the reception. 

None of this mattered. I married the one for me and was surrounded by people we care about. Despite everything that went wtong, it was a far more incredible day than I could have ever imagined!

Post # 34
Hostess
10381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I loved our wedding but I hate the way people treated me for keeping it small. I didn’t even invite anut/uncles/cousins – yet friends of mine that were not invited basically shunned me. Some relationships are still in disrepair. After a LONG time of feeling like shit over it, I had the realization that if this is how they act, then I was right for not inviting them in the first place. FWIW, there were 18 people at my wedding. There are still old “friends” of mine that are holding a grudge over not getting an invite – for example, one girl that I am close with but didn’t invite (bc there were less than 20 people!) is getting married this Oct and has not invited me to her huge (200+ people) wedding out of spite.

It is what it is. Sigh.

Post # 35
Member
3961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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kelly22790 :  I didn’t *hate* my wedding, but I definitely was looking forward to the night being over. By the time the wedding came to a head, I was simply exhausted. My vendors all gave me the option of staying an extra hour (for free), but DH and I declined. We wanted to go up to our hotel room and go to sleep. I remember getting ready in the morning and already being tired and wanted to go to sleep that night. 

Post # 36
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - Theater

My biggest hurdle was that I was SO STRESSED OUT the day of the wedding after having flown in (destination wedding for us, 17hr travel, all my family lives in that country), tried to wrangle 10 some people and coordinate and organize, on the morning of the wedding I was still bicycling all over town getting last minute touches. When I was getting my hair done at 10:30 and talking to my photographer I, in my infinite wisdom, told her I just don’t care about the wedding anymore and think it’s a waste of money and just a bunch of stupid theater.

In the end I relaxed when the ceremony was over, and everyone got their dinner. I could hear each table talking and laughing which was a HUGE relief and a weight off my shoulders. Many things I’d do different, many details went downright wrong (I never got getting ready shots with bridal party and my heartfelt gifts were sort of just thrown at them like “here sorry and thanks a lot but we’re behind schedule”), I didn’t get the portraits I wanted (yikes) and nobody saw us ride in with our horse because I didn’t have a phone with me to alert them that we were arriving (oh well we still got to ride the carriage). 

In the end, it was totally worth it to see all the friends and family who earnestly were so happy for us and loved us for who we are.

Post # 37
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I had huge worries that I would feel this way after the wedding. It’s crazy to put so much time into planning one day, and then the added emotional component is also intense! My parents and my in laws paid for the wedding together, and I was also soooo worried that I would feel like I wasted their money, or worse, that THEY would feel like they wasted their money after it all went down. I also thought it was really stressful to be running a huge event when I didn’t have any experience doing that, and I’m sure most couples find themselves with that worry.

In any case, what I’ll say is that there were a few little things that didn’t go EXACTLY right, but they were so minor, and ultimately all of us just had so much fun! It was like all of these worries I’d had for months totally evaporated on the day when things were finally set in motion and I got to see all the people I loved celebrating together. I think unless something really dramatic/drastic happens, you’ll probably be totally swept up in seeing everything come together at last, and the worries won’t seem so important in comparison with the meaning of the day as it happens. So, I’m sure some people actually do have bad experiences, but I think overall couples spend a lot of time worrying that it will be bad, and then afteward it seems mostly great! 

Post # 38
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

I am a little afraid I will not enjoy my wedding day–I am yet another bride whose dream of eloping/going with a small group of friends and family to some remote place was squashed by FI’s family. So traditional church wedding and reception for 150 it is. 

I’ve pretty much dislike most of the wedding planning process and been extremely stressed about it for months. But, with one week to go and all the respobsibilites handed over to our planner–I’m trying to let go and enjoy this time with my fiance and the family that is starting to trickle in to town.

So, my advice–hire a planner! She has been such a huge help, easing my mind and taking over tasks that would be far too much for me to handle leading up to and on the day of the wedding. I’m going to sit back and (try to) enjoy now!

Post # 39
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

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MrsBuesleBee :  +100 to your first comment.

OP, I hated my wedding. My sweet husband knows and hates that I hate it, but it was a miserable day for me. 

I have to say, first of all, though, that I was really ill. I felt terrible, but I didn’t know at the time just how sick I was, so I was incredibly emotional just because of that. All I could think of was how much pain I was in.

Our venue (who assured us it would cool off when we decorated) did not cool off, so I was also massively uncomfortable.

I hated my hair. I know that sounds so completely dumb, and I NEVER thought I’d care about something so silly, but it wasn’t silly. I didn’t want the wedding we had (both of our mothers pressured us about guests, so it was much larger than we wanted and more expensive – we paid), but once we were having it, I wanted to look my best. LONG story, but my stylist marked me down for the wrong time. She moved stuff around, but it would have been pushing it. I was ok with that, but everyone around me thought I was nuts and booked me with someone else. I did not feel pretty.

Our photographer showed up late. Then she clonked around in wooden heels during our ceremony (that’s all anyone mentioned), and then she didn’t take a single pic I requested, including not a single pic of me and my husband posed. I had to orchestrate family photos. We did NOT go budget photog because pics are important to me, and I tear up every time I think about the pics I wanted and did not get.

My husband and I didn’t leave together. There was a mixup about our teardown, and he left with his mom, and by the time he got back, we were gone. I LEFT MY WEDDING WITH MY BFF, sobbing.

All this to say, you can say the only people disappointed are the ones with high expectations and those who dream of their weddings when they’re young, but that wasn’t me. We wanted small. We wanted personal. I wanted to feel good about myself. I wanted my husband and I to stay near each other. But it didn’t happen that way. And I’m happy that we’re married. And I loved the ceremony we put together, but it was not the best day ever. And that’s ok. I love my husband. We’ll get gussied up another day in a few months and hire someone to take our photos, but it does make me sad when I look back on our day. It’s fading, but it’s there.

Post # 40
Member
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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kelly22790 :  Overall my wedding went perfectly! I had several guests tell me I should become a wedding planner lol. Even my photographer commented on how perfect my wedding was…

If you have any specific questions feel free to ask me 🙂

Post # 41
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

I did not hate my wedding but I hate the fact that I shared my wedding with my Mother-In-Law as she made it stressful and would not shut the hell up or just leave me alone. She so was not worthy of any part of it. That will always break my heart. 

Post # 42
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

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k8goeslz :  I know no one who really expects it to be perfect or the best or most important day of their lives. Most people want it just to be nice and pretty much drama free. 

Post # 43
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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jnd224 :  can I just say I am laughing about the random rap beats when you were about to go down the aisle? That is one of those things that will always make you smile when you think about your wedding. 

Post # 44
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can’t say I hated it, I loved our day. To me the wedding was about our love and I don’t like most weddings because to me they are a big fancy show and that’s just not me. Our wedding was totally us, we didn’t go into any debt, we only had close friends and family present. We did not cave to other people’s requests and demands and everyone had a great time. My mom, who I don’t get along with, and debated not inviting, derailed the day by being over an hour late for my ceremony and I was cool as a cucumber. I also knew that if my expectations were too high something would go wrong, so I went into it being realistic. 

Post # 45
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

I just got married a few weeks ago.. and the day after I was really regretting it (not the marrying my husband part) the wedding part.  I hired an expensive photographer, booked a gorgeous huge garden for the ceremony.. and an expensive high end restaurant for dinner…  well things went wrong.. and we were super late to the ceremony spot.. timing was off.. my moms glasses broke.. our ceremony was pushed by almost an hour.. our photographer showed up to the ceremony spot but thought I wasnt there yet so she didnt come in when I was there hours before.. so she didnt get to take getting ready shots.. it rained right after the ceremony.. HARD so portraits didnt happen in all of the beautiful spots we paid for.. 

Then dinner… everyone had to drive there and our photographer was super late.. and some of our guests went to their hotel before even though dinner started quite promptly so we didnt get to take the portraits there on time or get wedding pictures outside before dinner.. then our cake started getting wonky so we cut it before dinner which was weird…

then our photographers time was up so she left before dinner was even served… I dont know it just made me sad that all the planning was for nothing…  

The flowers were great.. the officiant was great and im glad we had friends and family there.. but it really wasnt worth it at all.. I wish we had privately eloped.. I wish I could have a do over but nope… 

I hope we get some gorgeous photos.. the photographer is super talented but things were super hectic and I dont think she got many pictures unfortunately…

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