Post # 1
You’re unbelievably smart.
I, for one, wish I’d been smart enough to buy an Asha and lie about it. Women do it all the time with our hair, boobs, etc. You know the saying. Something about, “any girl worth her hair dye…”
Even though I knew this prior to getting my e-ring, all my morals when out the window when I was proposed to. He was willing, and suddenly I *needed* a real diamond. Now that he dust has settled (granted, significantly after the return date has passed)and I remember how absurd this whole diamond thing is, I wish I’d stuck with my guns and gone with a fake diamond.Every time I look at my hand, I think, “That’s pretty, but I’m so shallow.” And it makes me very sad and ashamed.
The price for my superficiality? $12,000 of my future husband’s hard-earned money that could well have been spent on something better, like future childcare, perhaps? Or CHARITY. Oh, but now I get to say “it’s real” and it really is!
Big whoop. Now I get to a) feel like I fit in with other shallow women or b) possibly make other women who aren’t so shallow feel badly about themselves. That’s just swell.
Venting here, as this is something I will take to my grave and NEVER tell my soon-to-be husband.
Sorry, buyer’s remorse, I guess.
Post # 3
We know we are super smart lol. I honestly never feel remorse for asking for an Asha – esp because we spend the money on stuff for both of us, such as travel and the mortgage.
I am sorry you feel remorse, at least one day you might be able to pass it on to your daugter and make her feel very special.
Post # 4
lol!! well thank you – I’m totally happy with our decision and it definitely was the best one at first. I agree with you that after the dust settles, it really doesn’t matter what you have on your hand. I couldn’t get it out of my mind that I could be wearing a year of college for our future children on my hand… lol!!! I guess the biggest factor is I wanted the money saved to go towards establishing a fund for a future family…
Sorry you’re feeling remorse – like PP said, hopefully you can pass it down!
Post # 5
I didn’t really have a choice whether I got a real diamond, a simulant, or a colored gemstone. And I honestly didn’t care. I got a diamond. My Fiance bought the diamond, and picked a setting he knew I was fond of because that’s what he wanted to do.
In my experience, especially on here, people aren’t lying about whether they have a real diamond or not. They proudly rock their moissanite, asha, pearl (which are GORGEOUS) etc. Regardless of what stone is in your ring, if you have one at all, what really matters is the feelings that are contained in that ring. The fact that your Fiance bought it for you, proposed marraige with it, and you said yes. My Fiance could’ve used a ring out of a $0.25 cent machine and I would rock that proudly cause out of all the women in the world, he chose ME.
Post # 6
My asha is a secret, I am open about it here but not in real life 😀
Post # 7
How long have you had your ring? I was proposed to with a diamond and we didn’t keep it and I ended up with an alternative.
Post # 8
What does this $12K ring look like?
Post # 9
@abbyful: I’m kind of wondering the same! hehe 🙂
Post # 10
Just because you have a diamond does not mean you are shallow.
Also, most people on here with ashas, mossys, white sapphires, etc OWN the fact that that is what they have and are proud of it. Also they aren’t “diamond stimulants”. Mossys are their own unique gemstone (as are sapphires and many other clear stones).
I’m sorry you feel remorseful about your ring.
I have a diamond and I love it and I do not feel I am shallow, frivolous, or superficial becasue of the molecular structure of my ring.
Post # 11
@nj001: I’m seriously thinking about showing my SO your post! He’s not buying the fact that I would love a Moissanite. He thinks that I would be “settling” and he would be half-assing the proposal by giving me one. I told him to throw away all of those archaic ideas and look at the facts- we have child care, child support, rent, car and other various payments… he’s a proud man, and I know what he pictures giving me, and there is no way in hell that he can save up for a diamond that he is proud of giving me within the next 2 years. Not to mention the facts that the rings are BEAUTIFUL! I’m not gonna lie, 5 years ago before I had my daughter and started dating a single dad, I probably would have scoffed at the idea of anything other than a diamond, but like @SweetVanity:
said, I’d rock a ring pop if SO got down on one knee tomorrow.
Post # 12
I don’t understand the need to call women who chose diamonds “shallow.” My fiance happened to be in the financial position to buy me a beautiful, conflict-diamond. I avoid making sweeping generalizations about women who choose diamond alternatives, and would appreciate the same consideration in return.
Post # 13
Thanks, lol. My Fiance and I could have spent 20k on a 1.5ct engagement ring from Tiffany’s, we have the money, but I got exactly the same freaking thing for much less and I could not be more pleased about it, even though I still get so much crap for it on the bee. I couldn’t care less what anyone on the internet has to say about it, I am extremely happy with our decision. 🙂 In the end, my Fiance and I are the only two people who should care what is on my finger.
I think people forget that these are just tiny rocks we’re fighting over. This is really not something anyone should be getting upset about. Aren’t there more important things to worry about in the world than speculating over what kind of stone someone else may or may not be wearing? I’d hope so. People also forget WHY we wear engagement rings in the first place! When did this heartfelt tradition turn into a materialistic competition?
Diamonds themselves do not make someone shallow. I don’t look down on women who want diamonds, only women who insist that diamonds are the only option out there, or that diamonds are “better” than everything else beyond anything but personal preference. I don’t care what people spend their own money on, nor do I waste any of my time caring what other people are wearing as jewelry.
Post # 14
@nj001: If you feel like you made a mistake why don’t you sell your ring to a jeweler and buy a “fake diamond”? Just because you’ve passed the return date doesn’t mean you have to hold on to it. I’m sure your Fiance will be thrilled you want to go with a less expensive alternative. Tell him you can put some extra cash towards his groom’s gift.
Post # 15
I’m sorry that you feel this way about your ring. I’m sure it’s beautiful, but it sucks to have regrets like that.
I don’t quite understand how the choices are a $12,000 diamond ring OR a different stone. Is it a size thing? Because I have a diamond ring (with a couple of emeralds as well) that cost much less than yours. Moissantes and ashas are beautiful too – but you can get diamonds for less than 12K.
I hope you can either exchange the ring or come to terms with it’s price tag!
Post # 16
I have a feeling this post is going to cause some drama….
It’s ridiculous to insinuate that diamond owners are shallow or that simulant owners are less shallow. I feel that you are projecting here. Also, Asha and Moissy are not the ‘same thing’ as a diamond, neither physically nor in terms of inherent or resale value.
If you are unhappy, then sell your diamond and invest that money for your future childrens’ education or your retirement. If you are stressing this much over a 12K ring, then you cannot afford a 12K ring. Luckily, since you did get a diamond, you should be able to get a somewhat decent return on your investment.