(Closed) To allow FSIL a +1 or not?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
32 posts
Newbee

are they on drugs? would they really steal from your wedding/guests? Maybe you should put your Mother in Law responsible for them both? Or ask your Fiance to have a word with his sister about her boyfriend in advance?

alhtough having said that, if you tell her/both of them that you are worried they might steal they might get offended and do it anyway? Surely if you Fiance knows what she/they are like and still wants her to come then maybe you should leave the responsibilty of ensuring nothing happens with him?

As for her boyfriend, if he is the father of her kids, then you should invite the whole family as a unit. If he was just the boyfriend and not the father you could probably get away with not inviting him.

Post # 4
Member
4131 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Are they off or on?  If they’re off I say don’t invite him.  If they’re on then you should.  Especially since he’s the father of her kids.

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee

@millielue:  wow. that’s terrible. I think you hire a security guard for the day.

Post # 8
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Does the reception have a locked room where you can transfer the gifts after everyone’s arrived?  I would ask a friend (Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor could be a good bet, or someone who doesn’t have a big role in the wedding but you trust completely)  to write a note of everything that has been given and liaise with the managers about a secure area for the gifts and keeping an eye on the room and Future Sister-In-Law and her better (or should that be worse) half, or even transferring them to a safe-house after everything has been received.

Are you having an open bar, or will guests have to pay for their drinks?  Also is there a cloak-room with assitant that guests can store their good safely?  If so, liaise with the managers and show a picture of your Future Sister-In-Law and partner and ask them to keep a watchful eye on them.

 

Post # 10
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The fact that you are having to worry about putting all your gifts away right away, looking for ‘locked’ rooms and whether the venue has security guards should be your answer- do NOT invite him. This your wedding day and you should not be worrying about issues like that. As far as upsetting your Future Sister-In-Law by not inviting her BF- TOO BAD! She should have enough sense to understand why you don’t feel comfortable with him there and if she doesn’t, well she needs a reality check that people don’t really enjoy inviting known felons to their weddings.

Post # 12
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d probably have your Fiance actually tell her he’s not invited- that way there is no confusion. Plus, since you’re worried about her possibly not coming (and upsetting your FI) out of spite, then having her brother talk to her may prevent that from happening. Good luck 🙂

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

In this case do not invite him, as he is a threat to your other guest. At weddings people tend to leave their purses, and shrugs at their table and chairs. They are a little more lax then if they were at another public venue. I also think a few members should be given the task of looking out for Future Sister-In-Law and ensuring she is on her best behavior. Your Fi also should sit her down and lay down some rules for her behavior at the wedding, being sober, and not touching or taking anything which doesn`t belong to her.

You should have your Fi talk to his sister. You should also get other family members who have been stolen from on your side, if your Future Mother-In-Law isnt going to back you up. Explain you want everyone to feel at ease at the wedding and considering what he has done that wont happen if he is there.

Post # 16
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

My cousin’s drug addict ex-girlfriend stole my Aunt’s purse at my Grandmother’s funeral last August. She is the mother of my cousin’s daughter but she will absolutely not be attending my wedding. If you think there is even a chance that there will be theft due to her boyfriend’s influence then he should not be invited. It is your wedding and I think your comfort (and that of your guests) is more important than the etiquette of inviting your FSIL’s boyfriend

The topic ‘To allow FSIL a +1 or not?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors