(Closed) To allow FSIL a +1 or not?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You need to leave this up to him or his mom to tell her he is not invited.  you do not need the added stress…. Im not sure why he even wants her there, sounds like trouble.  Somebody really needs to sit down and talk to her about the situation and let her know how she is expected to behave and why he is not invited…..  Good Luck

Post # 19
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I would tell her when you send the invitations out. You will have a better idea if they are still together at that point and then give her a heads up his name won’t be on the invitation:)

Post # 19
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think shortly before the invites go out. Don`t give her too much time to bitch and attempt to change your mind, and from what you said who knows they may be off by that time, and you may not have to worry about it. I also think shortly before the wedding your Fi should talk to her and lay down some basic ground rules for her.

Post # 20
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Under normal circumstances, I would say that you must invite the Boyfriend or Best Friend because it’s very rude to break up social units.  However, this is NOT a normal circumstance.  Since he is a theif and has been in jail recently for it, he is a threat to your guests.  And since ultimately your guests comfort and safety is top priority, you should not invite him.  If Future Sister-In-Law also one to cause problems you should definitely get a security guard to keep tabs on her, the gifts, and other people’s personal belongings.  And I agree with PP to have your Fiance tell Future Sister-In-Law that the Boyfriend or Best Friend is not invited just before or just after the invitations go out.  Honestly, this is a matter I would not budge on and you should talk to your Fiance to let him know where you stand and to make sure you are both on the same page.


Post # 22
2977 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I understand that this is your FI’s sister in question here, but seriously, I would never entertain the idea of inviting thieves with felonies to my wedding. Your Fiance needs to understand that the consequences of dismissing “etiquette” are far outweighed by the consequences of ignoring the saftey of your guests, their belongings, and your peace of mind on your own wedding day.

If he really wants the sister there, perhaps he should be the one responsible for “looking after her”. I’m sure he won’t want that responsibility (nor will you!). If all else fails, hire a security guard. Yeesh, I can’t believe you’re actually going to have to put a brick and lock on your own cardbox! Good luck, sweetie. I hope nothing terrible happens. I’d say people like these are not worth the trouble.

Edit: I just read your reply! Steps in the right direction. Yes, it may cause a family fight, but well, so be it. Family fights and weddings seem to go hand in hand, for reasons MUCH more petty than this.

Post # 24
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
@millielue:  I’m so sorry you are in this situation. To be honest, I wouldn’t invite them. I would be so upset if items were stolen from my guests at my wedding. I hope your Fiance, Future Sister-In-Law, and Future Mother-In-Law can understand that you don’t want to put your guests in such a bad position of having to lock up everything, which was caused by FSIL’s actions.

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