(Closed) To ask my sister to be a maid? Help :-/

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@soontobehisbride:  Hmmm that’s a tough call but I agree with your mom and to give her a chance. She’s 18 so she may not fully understand the Bridesmaid duties (My 16 y/o sister sure doesn’t LOL) but at least maybe she will know that you love and care about her and want her to participate in your special day.

Post # 4
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was on the fence for a while, as well. I have a sister that is 13 years older than me and lives across the country. We speak occasionally –  mostly through Facebook posts or texts. For a while when I was a teenager, we were really close but once she got into a serious relationship, we didn’t talk as much.

Anyway, when I was ten, I was the maid of honor in her wedding (she has since divorced). Now that I am planning my wedding, I do feel obligated to make her my Maid/Matron of Honor. For one thing, she assumed right off the bat that she’d be mine since I was hers. For another, she is my only sister. It will definitely be difficult because she will not be here to help me plan or decorate. It will be up to my FI’s sisters to plan my bachelorette party because again, my sister lives across the country.

So our situations are different, but I shared only because I do understand the frustration of making that decision when it may not always be the most EFFICIENT one, you know? Being in a wedding IS a huge responsibility. My opinion is that if the rest of your bridal part is eager and helpful, I think it is in good taste to include your sister. However, if there is really no one else to “pick up the slack” so to speak, a wedding can be CRAZY stressful to plan on your own.

Sorry that wasn’t a direct answer. I certainly wish you luck. But that was just my thought process. I have three to-be sister-in-laws here that will be able to help in my sister’s absence so that helped me make my decision to put her in the wedding.

Post # 5
395 posts
Helper bee

What will it hurt for her to be a bridesmaid, even if all she does is walk down the aisle? It just might give her something to care about. On the other hand if you don’t ask her, she might be really hurt and resent you and your FH.

Post # 6
22 posts

You could make her a junior brides maid of sorts. Invite her for the dress shopping, rehearsal and wedding. Let your Maid/Matron of Honor know that she will not be participating in other activies or responsibilities as she is still a high school student but you want to include her as she is family. 

Best case she feels included and you have some great bonding time. 

Worst case she fails to participate and you can remove her from the party tactfully and with little interuption to planning. 

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