(Closed) To Ask Now or Decide Later?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You don’t have to make a decision about your bridesmaids yet.  I would wait until you were maybe 9 months out from the wedding or so.

Post # 4
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with MissAsB – it’s too soon to ask.  Wait and do the official asking closer to the wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, I don’t really have advice regarding WHEN to ask… but I have two Maid/Matron of Honor and one other bridesmaid! I have a Maid of Honor, a Matron of Honor, and a Bridesmaid. I am having a relatively small wedding, but I don’t think it would be strange in any situation honestly. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You don’t have to ask them all at once, & you have time so you can wait. Also I have 2 MOHs..nothing more. I initially was only going to have 1 Maid/Matron of Honor and no BMs, but my Fiance couldn’t decide between his 2 best friends so I picked another cousin to be my 2nd Maid/Matron of Honor. I figures my day..I can bend the “rules”…lol 

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with MissAsB.  This is one thing I would change about my planning if I could.

I actually asked my BMs about 15 mos in advance, and I regret it.  It’s amazing how friendships can change in a year.   I hardly talk to two of the girls (life happens!), and I’ve since become closer to other friends.

Post # 10
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I just realized I didn’t answer the main question — I would wait and ask them all at once…that way none of them feel more/less important than the other.

I think 6 – 8 months would be a good time….

Post # 11
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I made a post about picking bridesmaids just the other day and it seems that the vote is unanimous…there should be a waiting period in between for two reasons. 1) bcircumstances change while your engaged (life continues to happen for everyone else, even though us brides would like for it to stop)

2) some friends change their attitude towards you once your engaged…jealousy, anger can all set in and a once trustworthy friend can become your worst enemy (as we’ve seen on these boards)

@beeloved- We are date twins!!! woohoo!!

Post # 12
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Definitely wait! I have already asked my BM’s but one is my sister, the other is FI’s sister, and the other is a very good friend. Everyone cautioned my against asking my friend this early, and even though there aren’t any issues so far, I’m just praying that our relationship doesn’t change in the next year. So definitely definitely wait, and ask them all at the same time, about 8 months from your wedding 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think you have plenty of time to wait and decide later.

if you really want, id say ask the girls that you know you want FOR SURE in your bridal party… you can work out on the details of “MOH’s” and “BM’s” later, but just ask them to be in your wedding party!

Post # 14
Hostess
4665 posts
Honey bee

Once you set a date, you should wait till about 8/9 months out. This will give the ladies plenty enough time to decide and find dresses and etc.

Post # 15
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with waiting a while before making your final decision.

Post # 16
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would wait until you set a date before you say anything, and I’d second all the advice to not ask too far out.  I think I asked people in about a two week time span, as it took me awhile to play phone tag with one of my sisters.  So I’d ask them relatively close together.  If that is what you want as far as Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man, then go for it.  I’m having three people stand up for me and not using either term, so I think you almost do what you want these days!

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