Post # 1
So, I have 2 girls who I undoubtedly plan to ask to be a bridesmaid. I am actually deciding who I want to ask to be Maid/Matron of Honor or if I want to have both (one as matron and one as maid). I have another girl who I plan to ask as well. I do not want to have 2 Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 bridesmaid…that seems awkward. There is one more girl that I’ve been getting close to over the past 6 months. I have considered asking her but wanted to wait a little longer, as she is still a relatively new friend.
My question is….is it okay to ask bridesmaids at different times or should I ask them all around the same time? Also, what do you think about having 2 Maid/Matron of Honor with only one bridesmaid? Should I choose between them or wait to see what I decide about my new friend?
Thanks in advance, bees!
Post # 3
You don’t have to make a decision about your bridesmaids yet. I would wait until you were maybe 9 months out from the wedding or so.
Post # 4
I agree with MissAsB – it’s too soon to ask. Wait and do the official asking closer to the wedding.
Post # 5
Well, I don’t really have advice regarding WHEN to ask… but I have two Maid/Matron of Honor and one other bridesmaid! I have a Maid of Honor, a Matron of Honor, and a Bridesmaid. I am having a relatively small wedding, but I don’t think it would be strange in any situation honestly. 🙂
Post # 6
You don’t have to ask them all at once, & you have time so you can wait. Also I have 2 MOHs..nothing more. I initially was only going to have 1 Maid/Matron of Honor and no BMs, but my Fiance couldn’t decide between his 2 best friends so I picked another cousin to be my 2nd Maid/Matron of Honor. I figures my day..I can bend the “rules”…lol
Post # 7
Thanks, everyone. My wedding date isn’t actually set, btw. I just had to put something to register. I’m not planning to ask immediately, just trying to get advice…I don’t see the situation changing soon.
Post # 8
I agree with MissAsB. This is one thing I would change about my planning if I could.
I actually asked my BMs about 15 mos in advance, and I regret it. It’s amazing how friendships can change in a year. I hardly talk to two of the girls (life happens!), and I’ve since become closer to other friends.
Post # 9
I agree, mizrunzou. That is why I’m waiting about the new friend. I know I’ve recently had a friend who probably would’ve been Maid/Matron of Honor if I’d been married this time last year that I don’t even plan to invite now!
Post # 10
I just realized I didn’t answer the main question — I would wait and ask them all at once…that way none of them feel more/less important than the other.
I think 6 – 8 months would be a good time….
Post # 11
I made a post about picking bridesmaids just the other day and it seems that the vote is unanimous…there should be a waiting period in between for two reasons. 1) bcircumstances change while your engaged (life continues to happen for everyone else, even though us brides would like for it to stop)
2) some friends change their attitude towards you once your engaged…jealousy, anger can all set in and a once trustworthy friend can become your worst enemy (as we’ve seen on these boards)
@beeloved- We are date twins!!! woohoo!!
Post # 12
Definitely wait! I have already asked my BM’s but one is my sister, the other is FI’s sister, and the other is a very good friend. Everyone cautioned my against asking my friend this early, and even though there aren’t any issues so far, I’m just praying that our relationship doesn’t change in the next year. So definitely definitely wait, and ask them all at the same time, about 8 months from your wedding 🙂
Post # 13
i think you have plenty of time to wait and decide later.
if you really want, id say ask the girls that you know you want FOR SURE in your bridal party… you can work out on the details of “MOH’s” and “BM’s” later, but just ask them to be in your wedding party!
Post # 14
Once you set a date, you should wait till about 8/9 months out. This will give the ladies plenty enough time to decide and find dresses and etc.
Post # 15
I agree with waiting a while before making your final decision.
Post # 16
I would wait until you set a date before you say anything, and I’d second all the advice to not ask too far out. I think I asked people in about a two week time span, as it took me awhile to play phone tag with one of my sisters. So I’d ask them relatively close together. If that is what you want as far as Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man, then go for it. I’m having three people stand up for me and not using either term, so I think you almost do what you want these days!