(Closed) To Ask Now or Decide Later?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I was in a similar situation. I knew for sure I wanted to ask 2 girls and was thinking about a 3rd. I wanted the 2 to both be Maid/Matron of Honor but the 2MOH/1Bridesmaid or Best Man thing did seem super awkward to me. I planned to wait until I was around the 1 year mark before asking anyone, but then the girl that I knew would be a Maid/Matron of Honor was talking about flying me and my Fiance out to see her and I really really didn’t want her spending the money if she was going to be in the wedding party and have those expenses (especially bc she isn’t local so she’ll be flying back and forth). So, I asked her really early like 15 months early and I don’t regret it at all. I then decided I wanted all three so I went 1MOH/2Bridesmaid or Best Man and I asked one of the Bridesmaid or Best Man at about 14 months out and the other one at about 12 months out. But– none of these three knew each other and 2 of them aren’t local so I was kind of waiting until I could see people in person if possible to ask. 

I would say asking early is okay only if you are SURE that your friendships will stay strong until the wedding. On 2 of my 3 it was a no-brainer because they are my very best friends. The third one I do kind of wish I would have waited because we seem to be drifting apart a bit…. but its actually a really good thing that keeps me trying to keep a strong relationship with her because I don’t want us to get to the wedding and barely be friends. 

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