(Closed) To ask or not to ask…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can ask whoever you want, and you really don’t need to justify it to either one.  When you picture your wedding day, who do you picture standing next to you?  Who will support you through the planning process?  Who do you want to be  your bridesmaid?  That is who you ask – no one can tell you specifically whether you should ask an old friend or a new friend other than you.

Post # 4
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It sounds like you feel obligated to ask the one that introduced you and you want to ask the one you vacation with. Who do you feel closer to at this time?

My aunt, many years ago, asked her brother’s gf. We were all a little surprised but learned they were actually great friends and had gotten closer since they lived close to each other. They don’t talk now and hardly see each other. It’s who you feel close to at this time.

You can ask anyone you like. Is asking both of them not an option?

Post # 5
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I just mentally battled the same situation for the past few months.  I wound up asking both friends. I decided I would rather have a larger bridal party than miss having someone I care about involved in my wedding.

Post # 6
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

1. You should never feel obligated to ask someone to be a part of your wedding for any reason, whether they’re a friend since womb-hood or even if they introduced you to your fiance. It’s your wedding, and you should do what is least stressful for you. If you want a small bridal party, stick to your convictions. Making compromises this early in the game will only lead to more compromises further down the road.

2. If you’ve grown apart from your friend, then asking her to be in your wedding party might result in a bit of stress from both ends because you’ll both feel obligated to connect again. After all this time, she might resent being suddenly asked to spend money and participate in a myriad of things she doesn’t really feel invested in. Weddings shouldn’t be the sole reason to maintain a friendship.

Post # 7
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you should ask who ever you want! If you are close to someone, ask them. If you don’t feel close to someone, don’t ask them. A close friend had a mutual friend in her wedding. They’ve since grown apart. She isn’t in our mutual friend’s wedding. I don’t think she minds one bit! In fact, she said she didn’t want to be in her wedding because she didn’t want to spend all the money on it!

Post # 8
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I heard a piece of advice awhile ago that helped when I picked BMs. Who do you picture by your side 10 years from now? 20 years from now? What friendships do you know will stand the test of time?

That helped in picking who I wanted in my wedding.

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