(Closed) To attend or not to attend?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are actually going through this right now. We will be invited to a total of 7 weddings this year. Two of those weddings are on the same day so we have had to decide whose wedding to go to. It has not been an easy decision. At first we thought we would just go to whomevers wedding we received an invitation for first. But then the more we talked about it the more our decision became based solely on what we could afford. One wedding is local and the other would be very expensive and involve time off from work. It became an obvious choice. However those thoughts do go through my mind. Ive actually thought about telling the bride well in advance just so she can invite someone else in our place but at the same time I feel bad.

Post # 5
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Not really. I look at it the same way. 1) Do I want to go? 2) Is it worth it for me to travel to the wedding? 3) Do I have something else scheduled on that day. Most invites I get are from close friends, so there is usually no question about if I want to go… it’s more expenses and timing. If I got invited to a random wedding, depending on the guest list (if I knew other people invited) I may or may not attend. But I figure, they invited me for some reason.. so I’m not going to second guess whether it’s a legit invite. In fact, I don’t think I invited anyone to my wedding is “obligatory”. Maybe my parents or Future In-Laws did… but not me.

Post # 6
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t get invited to that many weddings, well I have three in the next few months but I’ve never had like 6 or 7, so I guess I get excited when I”m invited and always want to go. I”m going to one tomorrow night actually! Fun:)

Post # 7
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I guess one way that I evaluate it is whether it’s important to me that they’ll be at my wedding. 🙂 If not, I’d probably just decline (unless my Fiance really wanted to go.)

I have to skip 4 this year. 2 were destination weddings that were going to cost $2k for a 3 day weekend, 1 is double booked, and 1 is the weekend before my own wedding.

Post # 8
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Are obligatory invites common? I wasn’t thinking in these terms until now… I mean, I did invite a few people because of the idea that “if invite this person, then I need to invite that person, too” (like two coworkers in the same office – I’m closer to one than the other), but I certainly hope that person isn’t wondering if I really want them there or not! When it comes down to it, I would not have sent the invite if I didn’t really want someone to be there.

Post # 9
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I never thought about it until now.  We don’t really get invited to a lot of weddings.  Most of our friends are still single or are getting married after us and there hasn’t been a wedding in the family for a long time.  I guess I’ll think about it now that you brought it up though….lol

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