(Closed) To baby or not to baby? That is the question…LONG

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Would you consider adoption? If you want children but don’t want to pass on any genetic badness, adoption would be a great option for you. There are tons of children who need loving homes.

Post # 20
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My parents had genetic counseling 28-30 years ago before they had my older brother.  My older brother has Crohn’s disease and is lactose intolerant, I’m lactose intolerant, and my sister has a major thyroid problem.  My brother had major asthma growing up and was hospitalized. I had minor asthma.  My parents were told that any kids they had would have a very high risk of tumors later in life.  False so far- just completely messed up digestive tracts and lungs.

Genetic counseling has advanced by leaps and bounds since then.  However, it can only give you a hint of a sliver of an idea of what may happen.  I don’t think there is any test out there that can test for things like migraines or even chronic fatigue syndrome.

Post # 21
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

MS is not a genetic disease. Nor is chronic fatigue. Nor autism. In fact, as far as MS and austim are concerned, there is no explained trigger or connection to genetics or lifestyle choices. My grandmother had MS. She never let it define her. She died in a car accident at 75. She was beautiful and strong til the end.

 

So out of all those, there is fibromyalgia and migranes. Neither of those is life threatening if you teach your children to be strong and not let an fraction of their lives define them.

Post # 23
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@JessMorgan777:  My genetic counselor did say there were some forms of autism that were genetic so you are correct.  There are also forms that are not.  I would suggest you look for, and go visit, a genetic counselor.  We met with one because of my age (38) and it was very helpful.  They took a history of both sides of our family.  What our nationalities are, what health issues exsist, etc and then we spoke about what kinds of things could potentially impact our chidren.  From what they told us, an amnio would allow us to see the exact genetic makeup of our child and know whether or not they would have any of the genetic disorders they can test for.  Obviously it doesn’t test for everything, but it tests for a lot.  

I understand the concern over some of this disorders.  My family is riddled with depression and anxiety, and I have an autistic nephew.  I have escaped these ailments myself, but often worry my daughter will have to deal with them.  We also have what we like to call the “crazy” gene.  lol.  We decided to have faith and go for it, since you cannot control these things.  The worry is there in the back of my mind, but I think I will always worry about everything when it comes to my daughter.  

Post # 24
Member
1012 posts
Bumble bee

Get a dog, and when the time is right make sure you take the proper precautions when getting pregnant as far as genetic screening etc.  But honestly, you can do EVERYTHING right and still have a child with issues. 

You would have to put faith in God that he gave you that child because he knew you could handle it. 

Post # 25
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I suggest going and seeing a genetic counselor and find out the risks that you both carry by having some testing done. Your concerns are very real and legit – I would have the same worries. If you are in the clear and the risk is minimal, then you just have to decide what you want for the future. If the risks are high, then you always have the option of adoption or fostering.

The answer as to whether or not to have your own won’t come overnight or in a WB thread. However, going and getting some testing done and seeing how great the risks are may help you start to make a wise, informed choice – one that is best for you and your Darling Husband.

Post # 27
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@JessMorgan777:  Good! By what I understand it is a blood test and then they go over the results/risks. So I am pretty sure it is not an invasive procedure or anything!

Post # 28
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m in the same boat sorta.  My husband has CP and his twins years ago were born 12 weeks premature and one has CP and other medical issues so he’s afraid of any child of his having this issue too.  So we decided when we were ready we would have the testing done. I don’t feel that there will be a problem, because his CP and Epilespy is from the Brain tumor as a baby he had and the dr. Nicked something which caused the CP, epilespy is from the CP/tumor.  I trust God that me and my baby (whenever that occurs) will be fine.

 

However, now I feel it’s possible I could potentially be preganant and we’re not ready.

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