Post # 1
Fellow Bee’s i am in a dilema and have no family of which i can talk to this about.
I have a beautiful partner soon to be fiance and we will marry next year. I also have a gorgeous 14 1/5 year old daughter who i adore with my whole heart but am aware as these next years go by she will be off with friends and college etc. He and i are in our erly 30’s and for ages i was adiment i NEVER wanted anymore children and despite not having his own, he was okay with that.
But now, i work as the manager of an Oshkosh store and i see on the daily gorgeous babies and suppoertive families who just adore these little critters to death and i don’t know if its that, or my getting closer to 35 which is making me reconsider?
We both initially agreed we wanted to work and have a lifestyle but im getting to the point of thinking ‘what good is all this stuff if there is not family in the home?’.
I don’t want to be 50 on trips to New York – i want to have a family and a strong loving one at that.
What do you all think? I have discussed this with him and he is thinking about it and NO, i am definitley not the type of woman who would do this in a sneaky way if he wasn’t on board because i love him and he deserves the respect that it is our decision.
Post # 2
I’m not 100% sure what you’re asking as it’s between the two of you. As long as you are both in agreement that’s the main thing.
Im nearly 40 having a first baby and I can see advantages and disadvantages of being an older mum.
I remember at school, plenty of girls around 13/14 years of age were suddenly having brand new baby brothers and sisters as mums reached the pre menopausal years.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
No one can answer whats right for you besides yourself and Fiance. But for us its no more kids. My son is 19 and already on his own, his daughter (whom I adore) is 12 and lives with us 50% of the week. There is nothing so appealing to either of us about having more children thats worth upsetting our current lifestyle. Zero appeal. I love kids but we’re done and totally content with our blended family. All I can say is communicate together, be honest about why you may or may not want to have children and decide whats best for your situation.
Post # 4
Although I don’t have babies yet I absolutely understand what you mean by “what good is stuff without family”. I’ve always felt like that and that’s how I’ve always known I will one day want children to have a family and enjoy that aspect of life with my DH. I love traveling and spontaneity like the next person but I absolutely cannot imagine going through life without children and the memories that they bring. I think obviously you both need to be on board given that (as you know) a baby will massively shake things up. As well as the fact that you would be delaying your dependent-child free time by 18+ years. It really comes down to is having another child more important than age in terms of when you would be an empty nester? Obviously people are having children well into their 30’s these days so it’s not uncommon by any means! Would just be a timeline/lifestyle change! If I were you, being in your early 30’s I think I would want another baby with my husband.
Post # 5
I’m get it. I have a 3 & 5 year old, and FI has an 8 year old. He’s younger than I am and at first he wanted more. I was certain I was done. He’s feeling like our family is quite full now that we have all lived together for a couple years. I’m 35 and feeling an internal “last call”. I think we may actually go for an “us”. It’s something we have talked about A LOT lately. It’s something only you two can decide.
Post # 6
Only you guys can decide what works for you. I will say that having a large age gap with siblings and half siblings doesn’t always bode well for their future relationship plus more work for you when your older and they end up taking care of you instead, this is my expirence of course. My mom was 42 when she had me and having an aging parent to worry about when I’m in the “beginnings” of my own life is starting to take a toll emotionally. That’s why I told my fiancé that if we are to have kids we’d have them “earlier” so-to-speak, my family has a trend of having kids later in life and there are pros and cons to each side but having been through the above stated I wouldn’t choose it for myself. Good luck to you bee! And don’t let my words discourage you, I didn’t intend that. You can be an awesome mom at any age!☺️