(Closed) To baby or not to baby…. this is the question!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
6262 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m not 100% sure what you’re asking as it’s between the two of you. As long as you are both in agreement that’s the main thing. 

Im nearly 40 having a first baby and I can see advantages and disadvantages of being an older mum. 

I remember at school, plenty of girls around 13/14 years of age were suddenly having brand new baby brothers and sisters as mums reached the pre menopausal years. 

 

Post # 3
Member
3444 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

No one can answer whats right for you besides yourself and Fiance. But for us its no more kids. My son is 19 and already on his own, his daughter (whom I adore) is 12 and lives with us 50% of the week. There is nothing so appealing to either of us about having more children thats worth upsetting our current lifestyle. Zero appeal. I love kids but we’re done and totally content with our blended family. All I can say is communicate together, be honest about why you may or may not want to have children and decide whats best for your situation. 

Post # 4
Member
787 posts
Busy bee

Although I don’t have babies yet I absolutely understand what you mean by “what good is stuff without family”. I’ve always felt like that and that’s how I’ve always known I will one day want children to have a family and enjoy that aspect of life with my DH. I love traveling and spontaneity like the next person but I absolutely cannot imagine going through life without children and the memories that they bring. I think obviously you both need to be on board given that (as you know) a baby will massively shake things up. As well as the fact that you would be delaying your dependent-child free time by 18+ years. It really comes down to is having another child more important than age in terms of when you would be an empty nester? Obviously people are having children well into their 30’s these days so it’s not uncommon by any means! Would just be a timeline/lifestyle change! If I were you, being in your early 30’s I think I would want another baby with my husband. 

Post # 5
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m get it. I have a 3 & 5 year old, and FI has an 8 year old. He’s younger than I am and at first he wanted more. I was certain I was done. He’s feeling like our family is quite full now that we have all lived together for a couple years. I’m 35 and feeling an internal “last call”. I think we may actually go for an “us”. It’s something we have talked about A LOT lately. It’s something only you two can decide. 

Post # 6
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Only you guys can decide what works for you. I will say that having a large age gap with siblings and half siblings doesn’t always bode well for their future relationship plus more work for you when your older and they end up taking care of you instead, this is my expirence of course. My mom was 42 when she had me and having an aging parent to worry about when I’m in the “beginnings” of my own life is starting to take a toll emotionally. That’s why I told my fiancé that if we are to have kids we’d have them “earlier” so-to-speak, my family has a trend of having kids later in life and there are pros and cons to each side but having been through the above stated I wouldn’t choose it for myself. Good luck to you bee! And don’t let my words discourage you, I didn’t intend that. You can be an awesome mom at any age!☺️

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