- 9 years ago
I’ll try to make this as short as possible. Here’s my situation:
My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been dating for a few years now. When we first started dating, he told me he realized I was “the one” and whatnot. We’ve always been close and we can usually compromise on things.
This year I graduated from college and I’ve had the WORST luck trying to find a job (ANY kind of job). This has put a lot of stress on me and honestly, it’s a little discouraging. Recently, I decided to go to Grad school. However, about a week after making the decision my Boyfriend or Best Friend dropped a mini bomb on me. He told me that he was going to go into the military so he could be with me and help pay for my grad school. Needless to say, at that point he left out a lot of details. I knew nothing about the military and ended up finding a lot of info about it on my own. I don’t really want him to join, but if it makes him happy then I’ll support him.
Anyway, I didn’t really want to get married right now, but after many many talks with him, we decided it would be best for us. We decided to wait about a year to see how things are when he’s done with his training and gets settled somewhere.
Now here’s the issue. He does NOT want a wedding, at all. It would be my first wedding (and hopefully my last) and I want it to be special. I’m really close with my mom and definitely want her to be involved, but he’s not budging. He wants to get married at the courthouse and I’m just not down for that. I told him we could have a simple, small (only parents) ceremony and I would pay for everything. But he is being so stubborn and won’t compromise AT ALL.
His reasoning behind this is that he’s a private person and wants to keep his relationships separate from friends/family. But I just don’t get it. I can’t help but feel like something else is going on there (even though he swears there’s not) and I feel that he’s embarrassed of me. When we first met, it took 6 months for me to even meet his family. And, our familes have yet to meet (after 4 years). Am I crazy for feeling hurt over this?
We’ve had such terrible arguments over this and nothing is getting resolved. We’ve even decided that maybe we should break up over this. Of course neither of us want this, but neither of us will budge either.
I could use any advice on this situation! Any similar situations? Anything!
I’m starting to think that I’ll just have my own wedding party without him!