(Closed) To Be Sister in Law as Bridesmaid?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I think it is a great opportunity to bring future family members closer together.  Just make sure that both are committed to the wedding party and that they understand the communication which will be expected of them.  Also, make sure your Fiance is satisfied having someone in your parties, that you do not know as well.

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I asked both of my future SILs to be bridesmaids.  I wanted them both to be part of our day (whether it is their "thing" or they have time to help me plan).  Also, my Fiance is having my brothers as groomsment as well as my BIL (my sister’s hubby).

I think it is a great way to send the message to your future family that you are a team and excited that they are sharing in your day!

Post # 5
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I would ask her to be a bridesmaid.  It will definitely bring you closer together.

I wasn’t asked to be in my SIL’s wedding (even though she was in mine).  To be honest, it hurt then and it still hurts now.

Erindesmar couldn’t have put it better 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

i don’t know if you would be ok with this but- you could ask her to stand up with you and maybe give her an out for the other major bridesmaids duties like shower planning etc. Just knowing you want her to be involved could mean a lot, I asked my fsil and she is way more excited than say my actual sister (who is 19 and too cool lol) doing wedding stuff has brought us a lot closer!

Post # 7
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think that asking her is a great idea, and since she is far away let her know that she won’t have to be responsible for all of the bigger duties.  I did this with a very good friend that lived on the east coast and it worked out great.  Let us know what you decide!

Post # 8
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I asked my Future Sister-In-Law to be a bridesmaid. We aren’t super close, but I think it will help our relationship in the future, I hope.  So far she has been a huge pain in the butt. :/

My brothers and my fiance aren’t super close, so we are having them as ushers instead. 

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you are "trading" siblings in wedding parties I think it’s a great idea. Plus if you want to. I didn’t ask my Future Sister-In-Law to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man because I already had six close friends, but my Fiance ended up asking her to stand on his side. He was worried everyone would think she was gay, though! But, she’ll be 7 months pregnant and it’s kind of obvious she’s married to the guy she’s standing next to! (His brother in law is a groomsman too). SO! I think it’s great!

Post # 10
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are lucky that we have the same amount of siblings; we both have a brother and a sister so it worked out well. Although I’m not super close to his sister, she is really excited, far more excited than I thought she would be, to be included and my FI’s mother told me that his sister is really touched that I asked her. Go for it!

Post # 11
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have 3 BMs – two are my sisters and the third is his sister.  He has my brother as one of his Groomsmen.  I think it’s a nice gesture, especially since this is the beginning of one big family for you all.  🙂 

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should include her, definitely!

If you think it will be a burden for her, then ask her toddlers (your future nieces/nephews) to be flowergirls/ring bearers. That way, she will have her kids with her and won’t have to worry about somebody else taking care of them. 

Or just ask her and not the kids! I’m sure another family member would love to take care of the kids while she is busy being a bridesmaid. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I asked my fiance’s sister who I am somewhat friends with but not my other Future Sister-In-Law (his brother’s wife) who I don’t know very well. Fiance did not ask my brother as they also aren’t very close. I will say his sister has been great and very excited about being involved. She’s been a huge help and a great sport even though all the other bridesmaids are my close group of friends since high school and are not always the best at including her.

Post # 14
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I asked my (at-the-time) Future Sister-In-Law to be my bridesmaid.  She was actually the first one I asked; I handmade a card and gave it to her at Christmas.  Inside it said that I always wanted a sister, and that I would be getting one when I married her brother, and that we would both be honored to have her support us as my bridesmaid.  She cried when she read it, so of course, I cried too.

Anyway, the girl who was supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor stopped talking to me shortly after my Fiance proposed.  I never got the chance to ask her.  She won’t even give me an explanation of why she won’t talk to me.  Since Mr. Apricot’s sister was the one who threw me a bridal shower, and because of the fact that she will be involved in our lives for a long, long time, I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor instead of just a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I’m really glad I did!

Even if you’re not that close now, chances are you will get closer throughout the years of your marriage, and it’s a good building-block for your budding relationship with her.

Post # 15
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Mr. P's Grandparents’ Ranch

You should def ask her, I didnt ask my Future Sister-In-Law just because she’s not even close to my Future Mother-In-Law any more plus my Fiance didnt want her there, so sad 🙁 But my sister is one of my maids 😀 and my Future Brother-In-Law is a groomsman.

I think that could really help to share that experience with her 🙂

Post # 16
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

i asked mine, plus she is now getting married in december (i’m not going to be in hers but that’s ok, paying for my own wedding right now so don’t need this on top of my finances)… it definately has brought us closer together and is a great opportunity!

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