(Closed) To big a hint?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Do you normally wear rings?  If so, find the one that fits your e-ring finger and then purposely leave it on your night stand, or wherever he might have a chance to steal it, or have it sized.

If you don’t have any rings that fit that finger, dropping a single hint is appropriate, but don’t overdo it. I shot mine an email one day and somehow snuck in “shiny size 7”. He took the bait, and now I know he knows. All I can do now is wait it out. 

You just have to hope he hears you the first time, and then trust it. Worst case, he gets the wrong size, and you get it resized. At least you’re over the waiting by then!

Post # 4
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Maybe you could be looking at some online and when he glances over say.. mmm yes this one is perfect by the way.. size 7 in case you were wondering.. I dont think guys get subtletly 😉

 

 

Post # 5
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Why are you HINTING about something this important?  I don’t hint and I don’t bluff, though…..

Have you talked about marriage?  Do you know his timeline?  Do you know how involved HE wants you to be vs how involved YOU want to be…. in the engagement (timeline, ring, proposal) and wedding planning? 

I’m not sure where you are in the waiting process, so I’m not sure overall what advice to give.  However, sneakily slipping a ring size to my SO was not a game I played.

Post # 6
Member
4574 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@LilMonkey:  what i did once i took a ring that fit my ring finger and started putting in his fingers, just playing around, and then i said look where this ring fits you and where it fits me isnt that funny lol….and guess what when he proposed the ring fit just right

Post # 7
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

don’t hint, have an upfront conversation about it so you are both on the same page. It’s unfair to expect something from your SO that he has NO idea you want from him.  If you guys can’t have an upfront, honest conversation about it without having to drop subtle hints, then you’re not ready for marriage.

Post # 8
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

@MrsWBS:  

I think saying they’re not ready for marriage might be a bit strong. I’m guessing the op doesn’t want to pressure him, or at least interfere in any plans he might already have -especially if he wants it to be a surprise.

Obviously I could be way off the mark here tho!

Post # 9
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Pinkrefresher:  just my opinion based on my own experiences. 

If a guy feels “pressured” by his long term girlfriend asking him about their future plans for marriage, etc. then sorry but no he is clearly not ready for marriage.  If a woman feels she cannot bring this up to him to openly talk about it for whatever reason, then again I don’t see how you can be ready.  Talking about an engagement timeline is one of the least serious conversations you will ever have in a marriage, so if you can’t talk openly about that one how will you talk openly about the really difficult ones that come up?

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

@MrsWBS: 

Do you know what -that’s a good point and I’d actually not thought of it that way before! Tbh from my own experience I’m not bringing it up now because I want to know when he does it, it’s because he completely 100% wants to -for me a proposal would be tainted if it came about from me nagging! That being said, we have had the discussion some time ago so yes I do agree, you should feel able to discuss it with one another. Thanks for that!

Post # 11
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Pinkrefresher:  completely agree about the nagging!  Nagging and beating the dead horse is totally different in my books from having a general timeline discussion and then letting it alone for things to happen naturally (unless your Fiance wants you involved in the process as mine did).

Post # 12
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

@MrsWBS:  

Deffo!! Haha we totally agree then!! 🙂 I guess we just view other people’s posts through our own experiences, so I was thinking of my own when I read your response and I guess that altered my interpretation. Blimey this is all very self-reflective for a Friday night!!

Sorry to hi-jack op! Hope he proposes v v v v soon!

Post # 13
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’d flat out tell him. By the time my fiance was ready to propose he already knew my ring size, it wasn’t a secret. Since it’s so important I wouldn’t hint at the desire to get engaged. Tell you’re SO that you love them and want to marry them. Letting them know once isn’t considered nagging.

Post # 15
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

Ahhh yeah I replied to that post! I remember you now 🙂 just say FYI my ring size is….. That way he’s got the info ready for when he needs to use it! 

But rings can be re-sized/exchanged anyway so don’t stress too much! Tbh I don’t think my oh knows my ring size, he bought me a ring once and it was so big it fell off my finger!

Post # 16
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@LilMonkey:  I think it’s stupid to have to tiptoe around talking about engagement. Seriously.

Unless you’ve been incessantly nagging him and he’s told you to stop talking about it or he’s going to have a meltdown, then I don’t see why it’s such a bad thing to let him know your ring size.

I always thought of marriage as a mutual decision, not a ‘I have to be quiet until HE is ready’.

I don’t know your situation, like how long you’ve been dating etc… but if you’ve been together for a reasonable amount of time, surely he expects that you want to marry. It’s a conversation every couple needs to have. Intead of doing the slightly passive aggressive approach of dropping your ring size into conversation, I would have the “when are we getting engaged roughly?” talk. If he responds favorably, I would email or write down the ring size and tell him to save it for later. Done.

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