Post # 1
So for most of my life I’ve been a big supporter of living with the person you are going to marry before hand. I think you can learn alot about someone by living with them. So my Fiance was going to move in this fall/winter. and we would have about a year before we got married (orginial date being in Nov) well now we’ve changed the wedding date to Jan. hes probably going to move in right after christmas and I’m wondering what was the hardest part was for ladies that didn’t live with Fiance before the wedding?
Post # 3
We didn’t live together until after. I don’t know that there has been a hard part. I lived alone for several years before this and I’m easily surprised so sometimes when he walks in a room I jump 😀 He thinks it’s the most hilarious thing ever. I can’t help it!
Overall it’s been a very smooth transition. We’re both pretty neat people so that hasn’t been an issue. Sometimes a certain thing he does will annoy me–like emptying the dishwasher and only putting half the stuff away because he “doesn’t know where it goes” gah! then don’t empty it at all! lol But there hasn’t been anything major.
Post # 4
We waited to live together and, although there have been some difficult moments adjusting to the chage, it has actually been a lot easier than I thought it would be. You’re going to have to adjust regardless of if you live together before or after the wedding.
For me, it’s been a challenge because I moved into my husband’s house. He’d already lived there for about 7 years so it was pretty established and full. He did get rid of some stuff, but it’s been a challenge making it feel like ours instead of just his. But it’s only been 4 months. I haven’t been surprised by any personality issues or habits because we did spend a lot of time together before, but it’s just combining stuff that’s taking forever. We just chip away at it and I try and make little tweaks to make my presence more obvious.
It’s also been personally challenging because I was very attached to my independence and it’s an adjustment not having my own apartment, my own bed, etc, etc… but it’s also a good lesson in learning to be less selfish 🙂
Post # 5
The hardest thing for us was adapting to each other’s quirks. My husband never closes cabinet doors (I know, weirdest thing ever). And I hadn’t had a roommate for 6 years, so I had gotten really used to being able to, um, pass gas whenever I wanted to. Let’s just say it only took a few retaliatory farts for me to break that habit!
There are lots of things that we do differently, so it has sometimes been a challenge to figure out whose way is better. I like washing all of the dishes right after dinner, he likes “letting them soak” (which is just code for sitting in the sink until I get fed up and do them the next day). We have a rule that if one person can give a valid argument for why things should be done there way, we try it out.
The biggest adjustment, and one we still haven’t really figured out, is that we have completely different sleep schedules. I go to bed about 3 hours before him, and wake up earlier for work. It’s weird to me that we don’t go to bed at the same time, but I am an old lady who gets tired at 8:30, and he isn’t.
Post # 6
SO and I are not living together before hand because my mother would have nothing to do with the wedding if we did. That being said, I am a bit nevous about the transition because Im sure there will be moments when I want to strangle him and vice versa but at the same time Im sure we will get through it and laugh it off. Plus it is exciting for me to think about having the whole living together/married couple expierence at once.
Post # 7
Me and my husband were long distance before the wedding. We’ve been living together now for about two months without any major problems. In fact, he’s the easiest roommate I’ve ever had! I’ve seen plenty of really strong marriages where the couple didn’t live together before. I’m sure it might make the transition easier–but it’s not necessary! =)