(Closed) To Brides who are paying for your own wedding…..

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My fiance and I are paying for about 85% of the wedding ourselves. We are inviting all relatives and are giving each family a few spots for close friends, but that’s it. Neither family is trying to tell us what to do or who to invite, because they know that they aren’t contributing much if anything. If they do get bossy, I would say “If you want XY and Z to happen, then you need to fork over the money for it.” It might sound harsh, but if you don’t have the budget for it, what do they expect you to do?

Post # 4
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

Sorry you’re going through that, but at the end of the day it’s about you, your hubby-to-be and what you can afford and what you guys want. If they are acting like this now, imagine the input your family members would have if they WERE contributing to the wedding. Have they offered to help pay for anything?

Wedding planning is stressful and other people and family members tend to make it about themselves and lose sight of what’s important. It sucks but don’t let it bring you down because you are marrying the man of your dreams. Every girl I know hated her wedding at some point and talked about cancelling it, myself included.

We paid for our entire wedding ourselves and since we were on a budget and have to use cash for everything, we chose to go away and have a destination wedding in Mexico. I’m so happy we did!

Post # 8
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

This is a concern of mine too. My fiance’s parents are helping us with the wedding which is absolutely wonderful. My parents haven’t said what they are doing, if anything. I’m trying to find a venue right now and asked for their head counts. When I got the names, I was shocked to think that they would invite some people, whome I don’t know very well, and expect me to pay for it. If it comes down to it, I’m simply going to tell them that guests can be bought, and they can pay if they want certain people invited, but I will not pay for people I do not know.

I look at it like this.. If my wedding breaks my relationships with my family, it wasn’t that strong of a bond to begin with. If your family can’t understand how much it costs to throw a wedding, those aren’t the supportive people that you need to be surrounding yourself with at this time. Friends and family should be there making this easier, not harder for you.

I hope that it gets better, and that everyone realizes how much stress they are causing you. Good luck Kiss

Post # 9
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Bichon Frise: I agree my Fiance does not have any immediate family but his mother and he is an only child. We have about 40 ppl we want to invite which mostly consist of mutual friends and immediate family. I have two siblings, two nephews and both parents are remarried. So my immediate family is pretty big compared to my Fiance. His mother went on a tangent and want to invite aunts, uncles and cousins. But, we do not have the budget for and my Fiance does not talk to his extended family and doesn’t not care if they will not be there. I love his mother but I had to tell her we do not have money like that and Fiance does not want them to come. If she wanted them to come she could pay for them to come. My Fiance stated the same to her. At the end of the day you can only do what you can afford.

Post # 11
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m  so sorry!  That is ridiculous.  I am paying for my own wedding and so far haven’t experienced too much “input” from people unless I ask.  I do keep getting some people who just automatically invite themselves or just assume that I am inviting someone even though we have said we are keeping it very small.  I told myself that if it became this issue where everyone was butting in I would tell them that they needed to pay for it or we would just have a fancy elopement and spend all that money on ourselves.  We’d probably be happier in the end anyway!

Post # 13
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Paying for it all ourselves, and only input from others is what I have asked for.

So far we have purchased my dress, most of our centerpiece items, the table runners and some other decor. The remainder will be purchased in February, closer to the date so we have to store less time.

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