(Closed) To bring a gift or not?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

What about contacting the other co-workers & seeing if they can all pitch in $5-10 for a gift off the registry? 

Otherwise, I would probably just give a card and possibly a bottle of wine or something small.

Post # 4
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Mrs.HWebber:  I probably would, but I’m not sure etiquitte-wise

Post # 5
Member
2822 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d bring a gift.

Post # 6
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d send a gift to their home or just take a card with a cheque. Gifts brought to the reception are a nuisance for somebody to deal with.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t…then again, I don’t think I’d even go if I was only invited for the dancing part, IMO it’s super rude to basically not want to pay for someone’s meal but still expect them to come give you a gift.

Post # 8
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is there going to be a wedding shower at FI’s work for this couple? If so, I might just give a gift there and then come to the dance part of the reception.

As much as I hate the idea of “covering your plate” if you are going to be consuming food/beverages, it might be nice to bring a small gift like a bottle of wine.

Post # 9
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I can’t even wrap my head around only having been invited to the dancing. I guess I feel like its rude to go to a party without a gift, but you sure were slighted. Give something smalI from the registry, I guess. 

Post # 10
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Wonderstruck:  I don’t think we have enough information to assume that the couple who extended the invitation are “expecting” a gift.

Although I agree that generally speaking the guests should be invited to attend the whole reception, it is not unusual in many workplaces to extend an open invitation for colleagues to join the celebration for the dance portion of the reception only. Most people understand the financial restraints that couples are dealing with. The alternative is that work colleagues are not invited at all. I think this situation, like all others, needs to be viewed in context.

Post # 11
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Wonderstruck:  Same.

It’s likely I wouldn’t even attend the “dance only” part of a reception. I don’t even like to dance! And no, they probably would not be getting a gift from me if that was the way in which I was invited.

Post # 12
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Mrs.HWebber:  I think if the couple intended to invite folks to dance part only because they really wanted you to be there and share their day and they cannot afford to have everyone, I would bring a small gift and and be very happy for them. I think the couple should make it extremely clear that a gift is not expected.   But, if they are inviting people for after the meal part and they expect gifts, I would not go.   I think that is terribly rude.  That screams to me we can’t or don’t want to pay for your meal but we’ll take your gift. 

We were actually invited to an anniversary party.  Then someone asked if we were invited to the meal part (I had assumed we were).  After a closer look at the invite, I realized we were not invite to the meal.  I had never heard of anything so rude and we did not go (nor give a gift). 

Post # 13
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

There is no possible way to *know* if they “expect” a gift, unless you’ve heard them talking about it! So, unless you have reasons to think otherwise I would assume they had the best intentions and didn’t mean to be rude, but most likely wanted to include you in their wedding day somehow, but couldn’t afford a meal for you, and so I would bring a small gift like $20 or less.

Post # 14
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i’m going to say it’s not necessary.

here’s my situation: i’m involved in a dance group and tho we are a very tight knit group, we’re also a very large group: like, 40-something people (and counting). and there’s no way i can afford to have the whole group there (i can’t even afford to have my entire family there, lol). i’d love to, but it’s just not doable. so i’m only inviting the group director and the dancers i have known the longest and have grown closest to. those who i can’t invite will be welcome to join us for the dancing part and gifts will be discouraged.

 

Post # 15
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

No, I don’t think I would bring one.  Just a card.

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