To buy a house or live with MIL

posted 9 months ago in Beehive
Post # 31
128 posts
Blushing bee

need to move and have your own space/ privacy.  If you are staying with Mother-In-Law to save money then that’s a different story. But you stated that you can afford the house and have been pre-approved. So if you both are on the same page and can afford it – DO IT!!! Enjoy your time together. 

Post # 32
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

kristin36890 :  Considering she said it’s a new construction, it’s probably considered luxury for her area. Let’s pay attention. 

ETA- to further prove my point, if you need to borrow from your 401k for a mere 10% down payment, it’s too much for you. That’s a pretty obvious fact. 

Post # 33
4601 posts
Honey bee

Sansa85 :  Oh good to knoe, I didn’t know that.  Yes I was thinking of not only the fees and the taxes. But thank you. 

Post # 34
4601 posts
Honey bee

Plus is there a way to find a house under 900k? You say you can afford it but you seem stressed about the amount so maybe finding one with a lower price could help. We’re in a HCOL area and a 900k house is not unheard of. Average is $700-$800k even for a condo. Lower cost areas can drop it to $600k. So maybe your area is similar. Just be sure to include added transportation costs if you have to drive farther or use Toll Roads to see if it’s worth it. 

Post # 35
4837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

To be fair 10% isn’t a hard and fast rule. 95% mortgages exist and if you are aware of the situation and your finances and plan to pay it down immediately then it works for a lot of people. 

OP and her husband can comfortably pay back the 20k they borrowed from his 401k in under 6 months so it isn’t the end of the world.

It sounds like Mother-In-Law is also getting frustrated and after going through a loss she just wants some alone time in her home, which is understandable. OP and her husband need to move out for their sanity and for his mom’s. Moving out into a rented apartment doesn’t really help them at this point.

If they both feel that this home is affordable for them and a priority for them then that’s their choice. 

mrscb2bee :  

Post # 36
204 posts
Helper bee

It really of course depends on where you live, but I’d strongly consider a less expensive house (even if it’s smaller and older).  The more % down you pay, the less you ultimately pay in PMI and also the less you need to take from that 401k.

Here 900k isn’t extravagant at all, but most new builds are over a million while smaller homes that need a bit of fixing up can be as low as 600k. (Less if you’re up for a lot of fixing up… But that’s not my jam and since you’re looking at a new build, I assume not your jam either.)

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