Post # 1
Long story short: I have a friend who I used to be very close to, and although we still keep in touch a couple of times a month, we are no longer close like we used to be. Recently I found out through a mutual friend that she is mad at me because I didn’t make her a bridesmaid, and didn’t have a talk with her about not being a bridesmaid. (I think this is because other friends approached me to tell me not to be pressured to make them BMs – so I had “the talk” with them and not her.)
She’s also mad that when she comes in to visit her parents (who live about a half hour from me) from out of town (she lives several states away), I invite her over to much (even though she never comes) instead of automatically going up to her parent’s place to see her (which I always do). She even told a friend last time she was in town, “We are NOT going to [vlbee’s town] if she invites us!”
My question is: now that I know she is feeling so bad about the Bridesmaid or Best Man thing, should I call and talk to her? I know I don’t have to go around to every woman in my life and explain why they are not a bridesmaid, but I kind of feel bad just saying, “Welp! Sucks for you.”
Post # 3
I don’t think you owe her anything. If she cares enough to bring it up with you, talk to her about it, but if she doesn’t have the gumption to talk to you, don’t talk to her.
Post # 4
It depends on where you want the friendship to go…she may take it personally and really be torn up inside and end the relationship…I would at least talk to her and tell her why you’re chosing certain people over others. She should be understanding, and if not then she prolly wasn’t a good friend to have anyways.
Post # 5
I don’t believe in rewarding bad behavior. If she has a problem with your decision or any other issue, she should bring it up directly with you.
Post # 6
Thanks. She hasn’t been talking to me at all since her last trip home, where I had the nerve to suggest once that she come to my town to go to a karaoke bar (considering she was saying to me a few weeks earlier that she’d love to go to a karaoke bar). When I texted her two days before Thanksgiving to tell her that my dog died, she answered with a two or three word text that was not very sympathetic. All because…of what? That I was trying to be hospitable? Or that I dared to make my wedding day about my Fiance and I, and not her?
My brain is telling me to cut ties here, stop talking to her, send her a wedding invitation in a few months and see if she cares enough to come.
The other part of me (irrationally) can’t stand when someone is mad at me or thinks I am wrong about something.
I don’t know what to do. Especially considering that she didn’t actually tell me this is why she’s mad – a mutual friend told me when she wasn’t supposed to, and I’m not about to rat her out.
I keep going over this to my poor Fiance who shakes his head and says, “Girls are crazy.” He is right!