(Closed) To change last name or not? Hyphen? Opinions needed!!!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

mfox89:  If I were you I would definetly both hyphenate!  I would have been all over that option if 1) my Darling Husband had been on board, and 2) our names had worked well (they don’t though – both long names).

I think that the idea of your new family having one name is absolutely lovely and I think that doing it without either of you giving up your priori identify is even better.  In your case, it actually works because Porter-Fox or Fox-Porter is a great name.  

I am constantly amazing (and a bit appaled) and the number of men who won’t even CONSIDER changing their name upon marriage.  And my Darling Husband is in that category.  And heck, I’m constantly flabbergasted by the number of women who recoil at the thought of a man chaning his name!  Grrr.  Why is this such a far-out concept to our society?  How can we say that women and men are equal if they don’t at least get equal consideration when it comes to something as important as changing your name?

Post # 17
Member
670 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t change my last name, it wasn’t even a question. I told my husband in the first month of dating full disclosure that I wouldn’t take his name (it was in context) and that if he wasn’t ok with it then we shouldn’t continue the relationship. It wasn’t negotiable for me for a variety of reasons, one being that I wanted to keep my roots (I have an ethnic originated last name) and the other was that my career was built on it. When we have a kid, we’ll probably do a coin toss to decide what last name they get – I’m not going down without a fight!!!

I love that he’s willing to take the hyphen as well. So great to see times are changing! Some of my friends changed their last names just because they were tired of having a complicated last name and/or they liked the sound of their husband’s better. If you guys are going to have kids that’s also something to think about. I’ve heard from some of my friends that it’s easier if children have the same last name as you. That might make it easier to decide. 

Post # 18
Member
3829 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

jelly3:  omg dont hyphenate their name. The boys will just drop your name once they are married, and the girls with just drop the whole thing so its pointless and will annoy them. TRUST me no one wants a hyphenated name. 

You keep your name, he keeps his names, the kids can be Porters. 

Post # 19
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

 I kept my name, no changes. I’ve always liked my name and Darling Husband doesn’t mind that I didn’t change it. My first name is Faith and last name is ‘spirit’ is Spanish. The world won’t end of you keep your name, it’s easier (no paperwork)! 🙂

Post # 20
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

mfox89:  I’m keeping my last name as it is. i grew up in Korea and no one changes their last name for marriage so it was a no brainier decision for me. I think it’s a sweet tradition for couples to share the same last name but in case if you were wondering if there’re people that keep their last name 😛 

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  jamie1207.
Post # 21
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Swizzle:  Well SOOOOO-RRY.

Post # 22
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

I am probably in the minority on here (so don’t attack me this is just my opinion) but I personally really like it when the woman takes on her husbands name.  Yes I will admit, dropping my name and taking on my husbands wasn’t exactly an easy transition for me.  I was 32 when I got married so my degrees are in my maiden name and I have nicknames associated with my maiden name etc.  But, I always knew that when I got married I wanted to take on my husbands name and for us to be Mr and Mrs ……. and then for our kids obviously to have the same last name.  My maiden name will still always be a part of me even if not in a legal sense. 

I always wonder what is going to happen in the future when all these kids with hyphenated last names marry each other so Jack Smith-Jones marries Lucy Rich-Wilson so will they name their kid, Ruby Smith-Jones-Rich-Wilson!!  I don’t know it just gets a little bit complicated if you ask me.  Call me traditional in this, but hey sometimes I think tradition is not such a bad thing!

Post # 23
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee

Here in the south most people seem to drop their middle for their maiden- so Miranda Fox Porter. then your branding would still make sense. I’m not a fan of hyphenated last names, but that’s just a personal preference. I’m just changing my last name to his. 

Post # 24
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Please don’t hypen…….

Personally, I would change your name to your FH’s and just keep your business as MFOX. My photographer branded her photography with her maiden name (prior to marriage) and now that she is married, even though its still as her maiden name, no one bats an eye.

Post # 25
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Swizzle:  I agree….. I would HATE it if my Darling Husband had a hyphenated name that I would take on…..

Post # 27
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I am rather attached to my name as well, only because it’s been who I was for 25 years, my middle name is after my mother. Our Plan is to BOTH take my maiden name as a second middle name. SO my name will be lets say Meghan Jane Jones Hernandez and Justin Mathew Jones Hernandez (Not our real names btw) But I will go by Meghan Hernandez and Justin Hernandez but still “keep” that part of my name legally.  

Post # 28
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mfox89:  If you are willing to Hyphenate I would just take his last name but move your maiden name to the middle: Miranda Fox Porter That way you can still have Fox associated with you and your brands. Either that or just not take his name at all. Personally. 

Post # 29
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I am taking my maiden as a second midde. I couldn’t bear to give it up completely.

One of my best friends from college, her last name was Pierce, and we all called her Pierce or Piercey. She now has a different married name, and we still call her Pierce or Piercey.

Post # 30
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

mfox89:  Why do your business cards have to say Porter? If it’s part of your branding I suggest you keep Fox on everything and just use Porter persoanlly and for legal ID’s

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