(Closed) To change last name or not? Hyphen? Opinions needed!!!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
3382 posts
Sugar bee

I have a very, very common first, middle and maiden last name.  There were 12 of us on my college campus and 2 of us in my sorority.  It was mega annoying and I figured I would just change it once I got married. I am now an attorney in a different part of the country where I grew up, so my maiden name is less common.  I even have my own law practice (small).  Yet I changed my last name last month!  I give zero you know whats if other women do or don’t change their name.  I just figured I’d do it and so I did.  Plus, my new name is cooler. 

Post # 63
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

 

mfox89:  I received good advice when I began thinking. I’d make a choice and sit on it for a few weeks, and see how it felt. Then I’d make a different one and try that out. For some people, it helps a lot to see what they are feeling. For me, every choice constantly fel its pros and cons. My situation is/was the same. My birth name is so distinctive in that only my family has my name. DH’s is common. Wedding is three weeks over and I’ve done nothing legally, but I will be adding his so I have four names and legally my maiden will be a second middle. Socially and legally will use his name, but professionally changing nothing and using maiden. It feels good so far. 

Post # 64
Member
896 posts
Busy bee

I dont believe in taking your husband’s name like another PP said. To me, religiously (In in Islam), we do not change our name because we are not our husband’s property.

Ofcourse theres nothing wrong with taking his name either, but I suggest you keep your name. Its really up to you. It is a very personal preference. 

Post # 65
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

I know a girl whose last name is Fox. She and her husband decided they’d keep it and hyphenate with his, which was great because they are both vets!

Post # 67
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

I just love that women can now decide whether or not to keep their maiden name, adopt their husband’s, or hyphenate based on how good the name sounds! It’s awesome. 

I personally chose to keep my maiden name, purely because my husband’s is too foreign sounding and gets mispronounced too often. Sometimes I fantasise about him having had a sexier name and me adopting it… 

Post # 68
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

And P.S. Fox IS a really sexy name. I’d vote for keeping it. Hyphenation would wreck the one-syllable punchiness. 

Post # 69
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I really like my surname, it’s not super unusual but it’s just the name I’ve known myself by for so long. However I also liked the idea of me and Darling Husband being Mr & Mrs hislastname. As I don’t have a middle name I took my maiden as my middle – i really like seeing it on all my official docs (passport, driving licence etc.) and I can always refer to myself by my full name if I wish but I can also just be Mrs Hislastname if I wish too! 

I did think of hypenating but our names REALLY don’t merge well!

I like the surname Fox! Id want to keep it too!! I think hypenating would work really well for you, especially if your Darling Husband would be up for changing his name too? 

Post # 70
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Ps – also the paperwork really isn’t all that bad. I just did it all in one go and it wasn’t painful at all!

Post # 71
Member
7002 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

mfox89:  I’m pretty traditional, and taking my DH’s last name was important to me. I’m also a southerner and so it’s tradition to drop your middle name and make your maiden your new middle. My business (I’m a photographer) IS my maiden name. I legally changed my name to First Maiden Married – but my business is still First Maiden Photography and professionally I go by my maiden. It’s never been an issue despite almost everyone knowing I’m married and my legal last name is different. I’m personally not a fan of hyphened names, but that’s just me.

Post # 72
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

I’m with joyanne77, I have an old fashioned view of this tradition and I will take my fiance’s last name when we get married. I remember him asking me about it, and without hesitation I said yes, I’ll change my name – that’s a non-issue for me. I don’t even particularly like his last name and I do love my maiden name but that’s not the point. The point is that I will become a “LastName”. Instead of being a Smith, once married I will be a Zane (for example). I do like the idea of keeping my Maiden Name as a second middle name, but I would never just drop my first middle name. 

Post # 73
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I am not a fan of hyphenating, it can get unwieldy, and it puts the burden of the decision on your kids someday, unless they wind up with a 3 or 4 prong last name. Then someone will be hurt to have their kid drop one or two of those names.

Anyway, I am all in favor of just keeping a maiden name if it is already branded by your profession. If you aren’t branded, then just keep yours or take his.

Post # 74
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think you should keep it. The business and your identity are too important! I’m not sure if I’m keeping mine yet, but either way I’m not going to hyphenate (I just don’t like hyphenated names in general because I think you should just choose one or the other), and will give our (hypothetical) kids his last name.

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