(Closed) To change my last name or not to change my last name…that is the question.

posted 7 years ago in Names
  • poll: Should I:
    Keep my maiden name and use the "i" version of my FI's last name in social circles? : (13 votes)
    36 %
    Change my last name to the non "i" version of my FI's last name and use the "i" version socially? : (16 votes)
    44 %
    Change my last name to my FI's legal name and use that all of the time regardless of his version? : (5 votes)
    14 %
    Change my name to FI's legal name, no "i", and ask him to always use the legal spelling himself. : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    290 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @mojo10513:  I would take his last name and in your social circles use the easier pronunciation. 

    Post # 4
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Woah. This sounds way more complicated than necessary. Tell him that if he doesn’t just change his name legally to the “i” version, then he should just take your name!


    Post # 6
    9544 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    So here’s the thing – what is a name? I think for most people it is the name that you use day to day. So your husband’s name is the easier to pronounce version he uses all the time. I don’t think the legal name really matters much. I doubt it is used much.

    So since you want to have the same name as your husband, the name you use all the time will become the one he uses all the time. That is the important part. Again, the legal name isn’t really used much and doesn’t really matter that much and isn’t the “real” name.

    So the question becomes, will it bother you if your legal name is different than your “real” name that you use every day? For me, I don’t think this would be a huge problem so I would probably just keep the maiden name legally since that requires no effort and changing is a pain. If having that different would bug you then change your legal name to your new “real” name (his easier to pronounce name).

    It sounds like your husband has already made the same decision and has decided that he doesn’t care that his legal name is different than his “real” name, so I can’t see him being mad if you decide to do the same and keep your maiden as the legal.

    Post # 8
    6117 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    That is complicated!  I would keep my legal name as is and just go by hubby’s “i” last name socially.  I did all the social changes months before I changed anything legally and frankly no one would have been the wiser if I just left it at that!So you could update FB, emails, address labels, etc.  I would not however, change my credit cards or paychecks or checks.


    I did something like that with my middle name.  It’s Rachel – but not RAY-chel.  It’s ra-SHELL.  I added an “a” as in Rachael hoping that’d fix things.  I did this as a child an even my SS card was printed like this!  So went I went in to change it this time, I put it Rachel.  No one said anything, but it’s a middle name, so probably not a big deal.

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