(Closed) To change my last name or not to?

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 17
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Nookie123:  Because it’s hard to lose one’s identity.  Think about it – why doesn’t a man change his name?  Why is it a slap to the man if the woman doesn’t want to change to be associated with him, but not a slap to the woman if the man doesn’t change his name to be associated with her?

There are lots of reasons to want to be known as your own person, the person you’ve always been known as.  The reasons for changing your name historically have been economical – the woman was property to be transferred by marraige.  You went from Miss Property of your Father, to Mrs. Property of your Husband.  That’s another reason not to change your name – to not participate in the ideological roots of that tradition.

That’s not to shame anyone who chooses to participate in the tradition (I will be, sort of; I’ll be using my name professionally, and socially we’ll both be taking my maiden name as a second middle name).  There are a great many reason TO take the other person’s name!  But there are also tons of great reasons not to.

Post # 18
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ll be changing mine, i’m expecting and like the idea of our little family all having the same name. Also when I was in school my mom went back to her maiden name and the different last names created some confusion. 

Post # 20
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014



It’s not about not wanting to be associated with your husband, it’s the fact that for some people their name is part of their identity and is more than ‘just a name’. I honestly never thought I’d care about changing my name, but I feel like if I take my FI’s last name then I won’t be ‘me’. May be silly, but that’s how I feel.

I’m leaning more and more towards hyphenating (which I never thought I’d do).

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