(Closed) To confront SIL or not?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I bring this up?



    Maybe, explain below

  • Post # 2
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Seriously? Get over it. It sounds like she’s been a pain for a while and confronting her about not standing up is just going to cause way more problems. Be nice to her but don’t expect her to change if she doesn’t want to.

    Post # 3
    970 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I don’t see what you could say really.  If you get along fine in general, don’t worry about her weirdness/odd behaviour in other ways.  

    Honestly, even if you don’t like how it feels, you can’t force people to respect you or keep them from being rude or weird at times.  Next time something happens, maybe you can immediately ask what’s going on.  But asking why she didn’t stand at your weddding would seem like you’re obsessed with her behaviour and come across odd to me.  You don’t need to worry about her so much, you know.  Let her be strange and keep living your life happily.  

    Post # 4
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee

    You’ll just play directly into the drama she’s trying to cause. Move on and maintain the same cordial relationship you’ve always had.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  pussinboots83.
    Post # 5
    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Well, if she’s Bipolar, then definitely don’t confront her. Could be dangerous😉

    Post # 6
    3028 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    You need to get over it and go on with life. Stop focusing so hard on her and chances are you’ll stop finding moments to dissect. Don’t mesh well with one another then don’t try to hold a relationship. Be cordial in family situations and go your separate ways at the end. Also, no one owes anyone congrats during an engagement…I never got one from my Future Brother-In-Law and I didn’t think it was weird.

    Also, is she diagnosed? Because otherwise I would refrain from judging her as “bipolar”. Nothing you have put represents bipolar behavior and many of us have loved ones that struggle with this condition.

    Post # 7
    467 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Ignore it and move on. If she’s jealous, you taking the high road or seemingly not noticing will drive her freaking crazy, and if it’s nothing then you didn’t stir up any trouble


    Post # 8
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Sounds like some sort of weird jealousy issue or something on her part. Maybe she’s disappointed she is still not engaged. I wouldn’t say anything about it, but personally that kind of thing would really tick me off, and I would file that away in my brain and remember it if she ever asked for something. 

    Post # 9
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    OP – I’m going to assume she’s old enough that she should have learnt decency and manners by now, so I don’t think discussing this with her will bring sudden enlightenment. Reevaluate the reason you “let everything go” – why bother with the hassle? Let it go over your head.

    View original reply
    soymilk:  Agreed, along the same lines as being “soooo OCD” for keeping a tidy desk/neat handbag/etc.

    Post # 10
    10 posts
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Hi I’m new here and just read this.  You should not worry about her at all.  Try and focus on yourself and your happines.  Leave the past issues in the past and move forward in your life.  Remember it is your life not hers.  Sounds like she is the one with the issues so do not let it ruin a thing.  Be polite to her, but not a doormat. 

    Post # 11
    2141 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I cant see any issue…

    people like to see rings

    if you dont have phone numbers/facebook/email how is she suppose to invite you to things

    a like on a post is a congratulations to me, what more do you want from someone you barely see (she also does care she asked Mother-In-Law for more details/pictures)

    the bridal shower is a little odd but maybe she was self concous from not knowing you well or genuinly busy with something else that needed doing

    and we are having people sit at ours… I tend to find it rude having people stand anyway, some people have health issues/disabilities and others just have height issues (not being big enough to see when everyone is standing) – plus every wedding ive been to had LOADS of standing around waiting to be allowed to enter (normally in heels because its a wedding) so theirs a good chance her feet and/or back hurt from standing waiting for you

    Post # 12
    10480 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Confronting her will do nothing but add more drama to your life. Accept she’s rude and probably doesn’t like you all that much and don’t waste anymore time on her.

    Post # 13
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee


    I would be totally annoyed. Not only is it exceptionally rude, but you know other people noticed it as well.

    BUT…she only makes herself look bad. Not you, don’t stoop to her level by confronting her or making a thing of it. Let her continue to act like a b*tch all on her own.

    And the whole wanting a closer picture of your ring….don’t feed the llama. No more answers to any future demands by her.

    Post # 14
    2502 posts
    Sugar bee

    I feel like it takes more energy to be this blatantly rude then it would to just stand up.

    I feel like it takes more energy to be this offended than it would to just let it all go and stop caring. 

    Post # 15
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Yup, let this go. Think you would be wasting previous minutes of your life with it. More then likely she isn’t going to change her mind.

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