Post # 1
Background — Me and my fiance have been together almost 10 years, have a house and 3 kids together. We basically have everything we need. So is it really necessary to create a registry? I was going to skip it, but then I’m reading that some may find it a wedding faux pas not to, as it’s almost like you’re asking for only money. Any ladies in a similar situation? What did you end up doing?
Post # 2
Same situation – we aren’t having a registry. Fiance doesn’t want one. People will still bring a gift (on registry or not) regardless if you don’t have one.
Post # 3
I feel like its damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
No registry is rude because it’s like asking for money, some people prefer boxed gifts and will be forced to disclose the dollar amount they’re gifting.
Registries are rude because you’re straight up asking for gifts, and if you don’t put a wide range of stuff you’re asking people to spend too much money and not giving them enough options. If you do put a wide range, you’re greedy for asking for so much stuff.
We elected not to do a registry- unless people have things shipped directly to us it will be very expensive to bring gifts back home with us. We’re also moving a few weeks after the wedding and have no clue about the size of our place. We’ve also been living together for 3 years and can afford to upgrade our stuff, if we want. We don’t NEED anything. Money would be nice of course 😛 but honestly, I’d rather people come celebrate with us.
Post # 4
Registrys are not necessary but they are nice to have. As a guest I love looking at a registry. It gives me an idea of a couple’s taste so if I want to buy a gift I would have some idea of what they may like. I love giving gifts that are nice and will last, especially if you dont “need’ it. I love gifting to couples that are already established because you can give them fun stuff instead of sheets and towels LOL. So if there is something that you want to spoil yourself with like A down mattress cover, XBOX, video camera or a wireless sound system now is the time to ask for it.
Post # 5
I say do one, you can use amazon so its low stress if you want that. I put ours together because DH didn’t care at all. We got a few gifts from it, some not and some cash. I would rather put out there what I would like than have someone decide for me. I always look at others registry’s, even if I don’t buy it from there, it tells me what they want so I can find something in my budget.
I feel like there is no harm in doing one. If some guests want to look at it and pick a gift from it, great. If some guests don’t, they will get you whatever they want or cash. I dont think its affecting anyone either way.
Post # 6
not having a registry. We are not living together and wont be living together for a while even after we get married. I am planning to retire at my job and Fiance is in the military so no need to make any quick moves. If our guest buy us anything i will store it till we get our house. If they give us a monetary gift great. I am really not expecting gifts from most of our guest because they are travelling. The guest will bring as they see fit. I was just talking to my Fiance about the thank you cards that need to go out after the wedding. Everyone who attends my wedding will get a personal written thank you regardless of what they bring. Their presence is what is most important to us and that is what we request. We spent a lot of money on our wedding to make it beautiful and to make sure that our guest are well taken care of that night So all i ask is that they show up and have fun.
Post # 7
I think an official gift registry (or bridal shower etc) will be seen by many irl as a major gift grab (allthough maybe not on the bee hahaha)
If people want to gift, they will. Congrats on making it official 🙂
Post # 8
It’s always been my experience with weddings that people enjoy having a registry because it’s a way for them to help you and support you. And a way to celebrate with you. I’m the oldest of four, so coming from my experience as a sibling this could be a good time to replace items that you love which have gotten a lot of use, upgrading to sturdier items, or maybe filling out your home (a nice multiple photo frame for family photos for example). It doesn’t have to be large, but is an opportunity for those who want to contribute to do so. You don’t necessarily have to advertise it widely. If people ask you can let them know. You can also make it clear in some way that you don’t expect anything, but if they want to contribute then “here’s how…”
I think people will gift whether you register or not, so this would be a way that you ensure that you’re getting items that you know you will use. Later on if people ask how that item is working out for you, then you don’t have to inform them you didn’t really need it so returned it.
Just my two cents for what it’s worth. You of course know your family and friends best and what their feelings are on these issues. Congrats on the wedding!
Post # 9
Have you looked into Honeyfund? Guests can give various amounts towards a vacation or other fun thing you normally wouldn’t get for yourselves. Example: a flight for you two to x destination will cost $1,000, so you have forty donation slots of $25. A guided tour of Place will be $200, so there’s four donation slots of $50, etc. I know some people are offended by any kind of request for cash, but I think it’s a really nice idea!
Post # 10
We were in a similar situation minus the kids and didn’t have a registry. We had a pretty small and casual wedding and told family and friends that we would not like to receive anything, we just wanted them to come and have a good time with us. We did end up receiving some gifts and some cash but not from everyone so I think we were relatively successful in getting the message across.
Post # 11
We did not create a registry. Most of our guests gave us cards with checks at the wedding. Some gave us boxed gifts. A few gave us nothing. It all worked out smoothly.