Post # 1
Keeping with our vintage theme, my fiance and I were originally planning on learning to swing dance for our first dance as a little surprise to all our guests. I even bought learn to swing dance DVDs which we tried out and bookmarked some ‘swing dance aerial’ videos to watch for inspiration. Everyone who know about this (that being all of my Bridesmaid or Best Man and MOH) LOVED the idea, as did my fiance and I.
Welllll, long story short, my fiance had a truck accident in October and is now paralyzed from the chest down. So, our original dance idea is def out the window. Oh, bless his heart though, when he was in the ICU he looks at me and says “so … I don’t think we’ll be able to swing dance anymore” haha. Always the joker!!
Anyway, so now neither of us are sure how the first dance is going to work or if we’ll even have one. I’m not brave enough to dance standing up, holding his hand and wheeling around the dance floor. But I was thinking, maybe I could sit on his lap and we could wheel around the dance floor? I don’t even know how that would work and if it would be possible to do it for three minutes (I want At Last by Etta James to be our song as it was kind of our ‘theme’ for our wedding before we changed our theme from old hollywood to just vintage).
Post # 3
I think if you can figure out a way for him to do it in his chair, and you both want to have that moment, you should go for it. I think it would be very touching for everyone (pretty sure if I was there I would cry!) and having had my first dance I can tell you it’s a lovely ritual 🙂 On the other hand, if you can’t figure out a way to do it and/or one or both of you is feeling too much pressure, I wouldn’t hesitate to drop it. Better to enjoy everything about your wedding day than have one part of it that you’re dreading 🙂
PS No need to have your first dance last the whole song. Darling Husband hates dancing so we were alone for maybe 30 seconds or a minute, but in our speech which we gave just beforehand we said “please don’t leave us up there too long” – we’d also asked our bridal party/parents/friends to feel free to join us, so after watching a little while other people got up and danced too. So this is one option to have your first dance moment but not feel awkward for too long 🙂 Plus, it gets the party started sooner!
Post # 4
before you got to the part in your post about sitting on his lap, i imagined you sitting on his lap.
i would practice, see what you are comfertable with.
and ditto mountainbride
On the other hand, if you can’t figure out a way to do it and/or one or both of you is feeling too much pressure, I wouldn’t hesitate to drop it. Better to enjoy everything about your wedding day than have one part of it that you’re dreading 🙂
Post # 5
What a sweet fiance to think of you in the midst of his own health emergency! I think it would be sweet to see you and he dancing… together. I had a friend whose boyfriend was in a wheelchair after a similiar event. He was still able to dance… by moving his upper body…. so you might be able to create a dance that fits that song or splices “At Last” on the end of a faster song… (Because it might be more comfortable for you to begin dancing with your attendants with you, because they might be able to help you both get into the rhythm of the music…) And then have him sweep you off your feet with the words of “AT LAST”. By preplanning a dance with the attendants even if you just work on it the night of the rehearsal, you’ll surprise your guests and show that even with a disability that you’re going to be able to work together to make your dreams come true!
Post # 6
It *is* possible to swing dance in a wheelchair, to an extent. There was a girl in in my SDS who suffered a nuerological disorder and was wheelchair bound for a while but she was still able to dance. You will have to be the lead but it would still work.
For inspiration see if you can videos of Frankie Manning from February through March of 09. He had to have a hip replacement but nothing could keep him from dancing in his chair.
But don’t feel you need to do it, it can even techinically fit within your vintage theme. My grandparents started dating right before WWII and as far as I know they never danced.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. I think what we’ll probably end up doing is doing some practice runs of the dance at home, see how long we’re able to comfortably ‘dance’ with me on his lap. IF we do do the dancing thing, I was thinking it would be nice to have everyone have sparklers on the side lines so we can dance with the romantic light of the sparklers. 🙂 But we’ll see..
Post # 8
Post # 9
I love the idea of sitting in his lap, and he is so thoughtful!
Post # 10
I think you sitting in his lap with guests holding sparklers would be romantic, unforgettable, and very touching. What a wonderful man to talk about your first dance in the midst of so much anxiety and fear her must have been feeling!