Post # 1
I swear I’m getting overwhelmed with this weding planning. Wedding is 3 months away and I’m still at odds with my guest list. Top it off with family drama and concerns over who’ll get upset for not being invited and who thinks this is too soon……..I just want to do away with this whole thing- the big wedding that is, not getting married.
So I always dreamt of having the grand wedding, seeing loved ones as I walk down the aisle, having my girls as my BM etc. But then when it cmae down to the practicality of it, frankly I see the whole affair as a lost investment. Yes it’s one day, that marks the rest of our lives together. But the more the dollar bills ring up,even though the money is available, the more I cringe at the thought of spending almost $27,000 on a celebration. Not when I have a home to furnish and a life to live after the whole affair.
I was drawn to the idea of eloping more and more but was deterred by how I thought my mother would have reacted…….you know how they always want this dream for their girls.
As planning has continued to frustrate me, I’ve been praying and asking God for a solution, a way out…It came when my mother saw wisdom in my argument and suggested flying out and eloping. A weight dropped from my body upon hearing the suggestion an my FI is all for it.
I smile when I think about it and being free to do so in a few months. But then I find myself in conflict about the ‘memories’ I’ll be missing out on.
I want to be married without the hassel or the ridiculous expense (these florists ridiculous).
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Post # 2
You don’t have to spend $27,000 to have a wedding. I spent $320 on all of my flowers, my decor budget was $400 (which includes the flowers), did my own invites, etc. However, if you feel that an elopement would be best for you, you can always host a casual party afterwards if you want to celebrate with family and friends. The key is to not give in to other people pressuring you, do what’s right for you and your FI.
Post # 3
housebee: well it’s actually EC$27000. Which isstill a lot of money either way. But I get what you’re saying.
Post # 4
The biggest factor in not eloping for me were my parents and wanting my closest friends there, so if you have the blessing of your mother I say go for it! If after a while you still feel like you missed out on any aspects or memories, you can always do a vow renewal for your 5 or 10 year anniversary. Plus, your closest friends will still want to celebrate when you get back 🙂
Post # 5
SKyAlex: There is nothing wrong with eloping if that’s what you want to do. You give up certain things (family, sharing, tradition), but you gain others (intimacy, calm, money!). You just have to decide which you prefer and then go for it.
Of course, either option can be tailored if you so choose. YOu can make an elopment pretty elaborate and special (think full dress, photographer, makeup, special attention to vows, a romantic private meal and a beautiful honeymoon suite) or you could scale down the wedding to make it less expensive. $27k is a lot of money so I completely understand what you mean.
I think the main area where people get into trouble is when they try to do half and half. IE, they elope now then a year from now they regret it and throw a big wedding. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that (there isn’t) but it invites a whole truckload of drama so it’s probably the most stressful of all options.
Medidate/pray on it and follow your heart.
Post # 6
You sound like me. Myself, my FI and family are very strong Christians. I envisioned the big wedding when I was younger but as I got older I just realized how silly it was to spend 7,000-30,000 on one day. I have a house to pay for, traveling aspirations and I do a lot of huminatrian work. When you look at starvation and poverty it seems so wasteful to invest that in one day. I’m planning on doing a very small, simple wedding 25 people tops. Our wedding is costing $2,200 (a lot of that cost is coming from having a photographer -$1,100, that’s something I did not want to give up).
Since my extended family are all Christians and with that they invision the big traditional wedding for me. They were not happy about it (Aunts and Uncles). My parents and sibilings were supportive though. At the end of the day I decided that wedding is not about the tradition, setting and size it’s about the commitment. I think you should go for the eloopment. Go with your gut and most importnatly have fun and don’t feel guilty about it! 🙂