(Closed) To Elope or Not to Elope

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

We were very, very close to eloping. But we decided that having our family with us on the day is something that I’d regret not having. We also started to worry if our wedding day didn’t feel “real” if we eloped, since we would have literally just had like 3 strangers around us in a different country. Some people will disagree with that, but that’s how we felt. 

We decided to plan a small wedding of about 50 people. It’s so stressful planning it, I hate it actually. But I’m hoping we love our day and that it’s worth it. We’re trying to keep our costs to below $15k. If we had eloped, the price would have only been a few K’s cheaper, since we were also going to get a photographer and videographer, but would have also needed to pay for international flights and accommodation etc. 

Post # 3
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee

I originally wanted to elope, and was kind of cranky when we decided to have a more traditional wedding with everyone invited. Now I’m thankful for the wedding we had. All my siblings were there…my brothers actually stood with me during the ceremony. Four months later, the youngest of my brothers died. 

Of course,  this isn’t something that typically happens. There are a lot of good reasons to elope, and I completely understand it. For me, personally and in hindsight, I’m glad we didn’t elope.

Either way, congrats! You’ll make the right decision for you.  

Post # 4
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My husband and I eloped and we have no regrets about it. Neither of our immediate families are sentimental and were actually very supportive. All of our friends and coworkers thought it was the smartest decision ever since we went on an adventure and put the money we would have spent on one day inot a two week trip of a lifetime. We did something exciting and meaningful to us and had a blast with our stress free wedding. We did have a small get together with relatives when we came home which the grandparents were happy about and we had a vow renewal ceremony so that loved ones could hear us recite our vows. Everyone was happy, but most importantly WE were happy with our decision.

No one can tell you is eloping is right for you, only you two can know. But I can tell you from experience it was an incredible way for us personally to start our marriage!

Post # 5
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I have a coworker who ‘eloped’ in Vegas but her immediate family really wanted to attend so they went with her. That’s always something to consider? I guess that makes it more of a destination wedding than an elopment but you still get your trip, save a ton and anyone who can afford to pay their way can come?

Post # 6
Member
10976 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Dh & I wanted to elope to Vegas or Reno, both were within driving distance.  But, we considered his elderly mother who was in her late 80s at the time and we decided to have a wedding for her benefit.  

We had a very small & intimate wedding.  It was probably for the best as my Mother-In-Law just passed a few weeks ago at age 91.  

Dh just mentioned the other day that we should do a vow renewal in Vegas, since we never got the chance to elope!

Post # 7
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

Think marriage is about you and him.. but a wedding should include your family it’s the people you share those wonderful memories with, the photos and videos, the laughter about who wear what and remember that you don’t want to look back and feel you could’ve actually had all those relatives with you. They are there to support you through thick and thin, and the get to share all happy times in your life, it’s a way of saying thank you to all the times you were there for me..

Post # 8
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I vote smaller wedding if that is possible.   Have you already told everyone to save the date?  We spent about $10,000 for 50 for a weekend of wedding activities. Then we are going to have a bbq to celebrate with everyone else.

At times during the planning I wished that we had eloped because of the cost and it was a lot of work and a lot of stress.  We had so much fun though, and so did all our guests.  I have no regrets.  It was all worth it in the end.  The weekend was filled with awesome memories and I would never change that now.

Post # 9
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

miracle467:  Elope.

Post # 10
Hostess
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Your situation sounds very similar to ours. Our 5 year anniversary is next month, the plan was to have a big traditional wedding June 2016. Then we thought about eloping but realized it would cause a lot of family drama. SO we’re having a small ceremony with family, then a large reception the next day for our friends. We’re responsible for paying for our wedding and we didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars on one day. Our $20k wedding has turned into a $3k one. And we’ll be just as married 🙂

Post # 11
Member
7069 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

miracle467:  Intead of losing out on 5k worth of deposits, and spending 30k – why not just continue with palns for a much smaller intimate wedding  and then take an epic honeymoon?

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