(Closed) To "first look" or not to "first look"? Poll

posted 3 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: Did you (or are you going to) to a "first look"? Please commet why or why not
    Yes : (98 votes)
    52 %
    No : (92 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 16
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    We’re not doing one. I was amenable to it – I’d get to spend more time at cocktail hour, and I think the photos that are done of first looks before the wedding are adorable! However, Fiance wants to go the traditional route and see me for the first time when I walk down the aisle. I’m excited about that – and going to be a total mess crying!

    Here are the pros of NOT doing a first look for my particular wedding:

    – Getting married in June so plenty of daylight after the ceremony for pics
    – Our wedding will be long, so we WILL get to the reception at the end of cocktail hour/in time for dinner
    -Emotional – seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony!

    My photographer is on board with our plan… but in general, does recommend a first look. He even has a blog post about pros of doing one: https://ellejae.com/tips-2/to-see-or-not-to-see/

    Post # 17
    1350 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I want to spend as much of our wedding day with my Fiance, the first look will be an intimate moment between just us and I’m really looking forward to that.

    For me the walk down the aisle will be just as emotional without the big reveal as it will be the last few minutes of me not being his wife and the walk to make it offical. 

    Post # 18
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I was actually all about the first look but then my Fiance said he really wanted to see me for the first time as I walk down the aisle. Since he has been so amazing in letting me pick out a lot of the wedding details, I will happily oblige him!

    Post # 20
    9667 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    mrsbrizz2017 :  I was actually afraid of the same thing! My husband is not an emotional guy so I wasn’t really sure what our first look pictures would end up looking like. 

    Post # 21
    1840 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    We didn’t do it, despite pressure from the photogaphers and coordinator.  Neither of us wanted to.  We are both just too traditional for that. 

    It all worked out great, though.  We had an hour long cocktail hour, and that’s how long we took for the pictures, despite having a large family (both of our parents divorced and remarried, so “family photos” with four separate families).  The photographer was super organized with the family photos, and we all knew the time constraints, so we were quick.  The groom and groomsmen were late getting to the venue before the ceremony (!!!) so we even had to do all of the groomsmen photos during the cocktail hour.  We still had time to get back to the cocktail hour, do our recieving line into the dinner room, and start at the time we wanted to start dinner. 

    However, we did plan ahead of time to sneak out of the reception at “golden hour” and take a few more pictures of just me and the groom.  We maybe took 30 minutes, and that was a wonderful part of the night.  The lighting was just amazing, and we were both super calm because all of the nervous parts of the day were done.  We still had lots of time to dance and mingle with guests.  I don’t feel like we shortchanged anyone. 

    As far as him calming my nervous, I don’t think that would have helped honestly.  I was super nervous right before walking down the aisle and I’m not sure how seeing him like an hour beforehand would have changed that.  I’m just a nervous person sometime, and I don’t necessarily think it was a bad thing either.  It helped me understand the significance of what was happening!

    Also (because apparently I haven’t written enough of a novel already!) there wasn’t a huge reaction from him when I walked down the aisle.  First of all, I was looking at all the guests, not even him, until I got up close to him.  I was just overcome by the feelings of having all my friends and family from different points in my life all there to support us.  He said afterwards that he probably didn’t have much of a reaction because he was trying really hard not to cry and because he was nervous.  But his reaction when reading vows was good enough for me!  He choked his way through them and you can tell he was almost crying.  I posted a link to my video in a different thread if you’d like to see!

    Post # 22
    4131 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    No first look for us. 

    BUT we did most of the pictures beforehand, just none of us together 🙂 so we did me and my family, me and bridesmaids, him and Jos family, him and groomsman, etc. then after the ceremony we did 10-15 minutes of family/BP shots with both of us and then 15 minutes of couples shoot and then we still go to join cocktail hour for the last half!

    Post # 23
    4 posts
    • Wedding: August 2016

    We did a first look and it was absolutely worth it. We wanted to spend the entire cocktail hour and reception with all the family and friends that came to celebrate with us, not spend it taking pictures or make people wait for us to eat. And it was so nice to be able to spend as much of the day as possible with Darling Husband, too. It didn’t take away AT ALL from the walk down the aisle! The emotions were still there – still dramatic, still incredible. I don’t regret it one bit. 

    Post # 24
    945 posts
    Busy bee

    Still on the fence on this one. We’re planning to do an elopement (so no mother or sister or bridesmaid to help me with the dress), and I’m actually hoping he will help me lace up my dress (which the photographer will take pictures of) as a symbol of being there for me when I need help.

    But that would mean he has seen me in the dress already, so that counts as a “first look”? 

    On the other hand we would very much like the first time to be me walking toward him because it’s traditional and emotional. Not that he wouldn’t get all teary whether we do a first look or not though lol.

    Post # 25
    205 posts
    Helper bee

    We are being very non traditional. We are doing a first look, hanging out with our guests before the wedding, and then our guests will follow us in line down to the ceremony spot (we will be behind our flower girl and ring bearer) I don’t think I decided on the first look until after we decided we were walking down together (both of my parents passed away)

    Post # 26
    942 posts
    Busy bee

    We were happy to do a first look but our wedding also wasnt beginning until 5pm.  if we were having an earlier ceremony, maybe we would have considered not doing a first look, but we wanted to spend a lot of time on the wedding day together.  i say weigh the pros and cons and do what makes you happiest 🙂

    Post # 27
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

    We’re not doing this but mainly bc Fiance doesn’t want to see me the night before or day of until I walk down the aisle. Why he’s being stubborn about this particular tradition when he doesn’t give two hoots about much else I have no clue. This way we can only do separate bridal party and family photos before the ceremony but if it were up to me we’d have a first look plus get majority of photos done before the ceremony then head to cocktail hour and enjoy ourselves with everyone else. Nothing wrong with either choice and I definitely wouldn’t bow to being pressured…that seems a bit out of line coming from vendors. One time suggestions I can accept but pressure is unnecessary. 

    Post # 28
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

    No we aren’t doing a first look. I want our first look to be as I’m walking down the aisle to meet him. I also want my guests to share our first look, that’s usually one of my favourite parts of a wedding

    Post # 29
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    nope! I don’t care if we get married at 10pm I want to enjoy that moment where he sees me for the first time and we’re minutes away from being husband and wife

    I am a sucker for anticipation.

    But also, as much as the day is all about US and becoming partners, a family, the process leading up to it is about me. It’s about saying goodbye to my single life, to my idenity as me as an individual, to say goodbye (in some ways, obviously not entirely) to my relationships as they exist with my family and friends, to celebrate the individual I have made myself to be on my own and get ready for becoming a new version of that individual with the man I’ve chosen to spend my life with.

    I want to get to enjoy that process fully, right up until I hit that bridal runner

    Post # 30
    1688 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    We did one and I was really glad for it. It wasn’t as magical of a moment as some people make it out to be, but it did make my wedding day so much more relaxed. We still both cried as I walked down the aisle and through our vows, so it didn’t take away any of that at all.

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