- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Sorry this is going to be long, there is a lot of back story!
So, Almost 4 1/2 years ago when Fiance and I started dating he began complaining about his younger cousins (“the kids”). There is a little boy (now age 11ish) and two girls (ages 7ish and 5ish) and Fiance can’t stand them because of their behavior. Their parents don’t disipline them and pretty much let FI’s mom and FI’s grandma raise the kids. From day one Fiance, his grandma, his mom, and “the kids'” older sister (who is 20 and also a BM) have been telling me that the kids are so misbehaved they hate taking them out anywhere. FI’s other aunt and uncle won’t even come to family gatherings because of the kids.
Fast forward to last April when we got engaged. Fiance and I told the adults that we were leaning towards an adults only wedding, unless we decide to have a flower girl or ring bearer. Then only those kids would be invited. Every single one of them said they were glad the kids wouldn’t be at the wedding because they didn’t want to deal with them and their behavior.
There’s more! I have a little cousin, cousin M, who is 6. She’s the youngest cousin I have (the 2nd youngest is 15 and is a BM) and if we stick to our “no one under age 16” rule, she would be my only family member not invited (while Fiance has 3 not invited, and also, their family doesn’t want them there).
So, the past few weeks, I’ve been tossing around the idea of having cousin M as a flower girl, because 1: she’s too cute, and 2: I would get my whole family there (cousin M’s parents DO want her there) I told Fiance that I was considering this and asked what he thought. He said that his family would be PISSED if I had my cousin as a flower girl and the kids wern’t even invited.
Now, if the family of the kids WANTED them there in the begining, I might be more likely to say “ok, we can have 3 flower girls and the older boy can do programs or something else”. however, from the day I met Fiance, his whole family has been telling me that these kids are so misbehaved. When we got engaged, they were GLAD we were thinking of no kids. The boy has come up to me several times thanking me for not inviting him cause he doesn’t want to come (understandable!).
So, what do I do? I would like to include my little cousin, but if I do, FI’s family will be pissed and take it out on Fiance. I’m pretty much damned if I do and damned if I don’t.