(Closed) To Gift or Not to Gift At An Engagement Party… That is the Question

posted 6 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Gifts at E-party - multiple votes allowed -
    I always come with a small gift : (21 votes)
    26 %
    I don't bring anything : (7 votes)
    9 %
    I usually give the couple a card with some money to put towards the wedding : (8 votes)
    10 %
    If there is a registry, I don't even use it so what is the point : (2 votes)
    3 %
    I think it is rude to include a registry in the envelope : (20 votes)
    25 %
    I like it when people use registries because I know I am getting a gift they like : (5 votes)
    6 %
    I feel obligated to buy them more as the couple knows who has bought them a 'cheaper' gift : (0 votes)
    engagement parties are not for gift-giving : (11 votes)
    14 %
    A registry is okay because I like to have options : (6 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would say make a registry, but make no mention of it. Engagement parties aren’t typically gift giving occasions, so advertizing a registry just seems off. But, if your family/friends WANT to shop off a registry, they’ll ask you/close family about it, and you can say “We started a wedding registry at XYZ” without breeching etiquette.

    Personally, I wouldn’t shop off a registry for a shower, nor do I think it’s expected. I would, however, probably bring a bottle of champagne, a wedding planning book (if I was close w/ the bride and knew they needed one), or something else small, and a note of congratulations. I don’t like going to any event empty handed, I feel it’s bad etiquette as a guest to do so.

    Post # 4
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Never never never put registry information with an invite. It is beyond presumptuous and tells the guests that you’re more interested in a gift than in their attendance.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1870 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I was told never to show up to a party without a gift of some sort even if its just a bottle of wine.

    If you want your guests to give you gifts from a registry though, you will have to give them the information.

    Post # 6
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Make a registry and have parents spread the word.. I don’t think it is customary for everyone to bring gifts to an engagement party.

    I went to a friends and brought them a bottle of champagne and some nice champagne glasses. I was one of only a few that brought gifts, and I never got  a thank you card! πŸ™

    Post # 8
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee

    Haha wow that was a lot of options up there πŸ™‚ I chose I always come with a gift, because in any situation I do. If I’m invited over to someone’s house for dinner I at least bring a bottle of wine or a dessert with me. I would for sure get a card and some cash for the engagement party. I would probably reserve the registry gifts for bridal shower/actual wedding. Just my opinion…?

    Post # 9
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would NEVER show up to a party without a gift. My close friends got me pieces of my china, but it was before I registered. I mostly got wine from everyone else.

    Post # 10
    Member
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I always bring 2 small gifts to an engagement party – one for the couple, one for the host/hostess. Usually wine, a nice candle, something for their home, etc.

    Is it customary where you live to throw your own shower? Its typically frowned upon here.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    as an aussie its quite the norm to open an invite and there be a card with registry details – never knew it was bad form until WB

    doesnt matter what the occasion, if im invited to something i bring a gift and an  engagement party would score a card and $100 but if you are registered i know my husband would prefer to buy off that

    Post # 12
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    PS no need to tell anyone your registry. Believe me they’ll find it. They’ll either google or as your parents

    Post # 15
    Member
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    @kfiorita:  That’s why I wanted to ask first πŸ™‚ I noted your location, and figured things were probably different there!

    A lot of our guests straight up asked us where we were registered, so I don’t think you will need to worry about it! Your friends and family will want to get you something that you like, so most will ask or find out some other way.

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