(Closed) To go or not to go- Family drama

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 4
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

At the most, maybe just your Darling Husband could go to the ceremony and leave before the reception.

Post # 5
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i wouldnt go. they are crazy crazy people. you do not want to be a part of that!

Post # 6
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m sorry your MIL/SIL are acting this way.  My ex-H’s mom and sis used to do the same things.  SIL even named her son after my ex-H b/c “she didn’t think I’d ever be able to get pregnant and wanted the family name to live on.” But unfortunately, he always took their side which was a HUGE factor in our divorce.

I personally would not want my child around them.  At the MOST, I’d say for your husband to go to the wedding w/o you and the baby.  I’m sorry you are dealing with this but at least you both realize the TWO most important people in the marriage are husband and wife!  Let those women go create drama somewhere else!

Post # 7
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No, no good can come from it.

Post # 8
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you should have cut them off entirely a long time ago. If your husband wants to go to the wedding, he could go alone– I think you and DS should absolutely not go anywhere near them. It was a mistake to include them on the emails, which you obviously realize now. What does he think will happen if he goes? It doesn’t sound like they will ever change. He has his own family to worry about now. 

Post # 9
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

No. Don’t go. Don’t send a gift. Become a black hole. Block them from your facebook.

Better yet – change your numbers and email addresses (if you can).  

Best – move and leave no forwarding address.

Post # 10
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@ieatunicorns:  Exactly this… I would do the same. Send him for the ceremony only, so he can say he was there and that was it. They both sound terribly unstable and clearly making your life a living hell. I’m so sorry – I think keeping them far away from you and your beautiful family is best – they sound nuts. :/

@Zanne54:  Part of me also agrees with this!!!! Block them from your life and move on – they have nothing positive to contribute to your lives (or theirs, apparently!) and this might be your only option.

Post # 12
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

They sound like nutjobs I wouldn’t let the baby go nor do I think you should attend. They been given more then once chance. If you hubby decides to go he should go alone then if drama crops up they only have themselves to blame.

Post # 13
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would send your husband to the wedding ceremony to honor the family…however, I wouldn’t have him go to the reception at all.  There’s too much opportunity for drama to come out there.  But if he goes to the wedding, at least they can’t then hold that over both of your heads as amo.  

I really wish there was a way for you all to work out this problem…but it just sounds like these people are completely irrational and in serious need of help.  No good is going to come out of you guys continually giving them a chance to prove they can change.  They need to prove that before you give any more of yourselves.  It’s difficult because it’s family…but in this case I think you have to close yourselves off from them completely until they prove they deserve a chance.

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

No, do NOT go! Don’t put yourself or your son through that nastiness. If your Darling Husband wants to go, I’d let him to on his own but I wouldn’t put myself or baby in that position. They sound vile.

 

Post # 15
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

@mrsgg21

If they are continuing to harass you on your new numbers, contact a lawyer for a cease & desist order.

In addition, change your numbers again, but keep one of the old numbers in service with call answer, but turn off the ringer.  Let all their calls go to voicemail and continue your black hole of not responding.  Needless to say, Father-In-Law doesn’t get your new number and his calls get screened.  This will also serve to be a record of continued harassment if the calls keep coming in after the lawyer has sent the cease & desist order. 

I’m sorry for you & your Darling Husband to have such nasty people as your relatives. Remember, friends are the family you pick for yourselves. 

Post # 16
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t go.  If your Darling Husband wants to go, then that’s fine – but leave that up to him.  Sounds like you guys have tried to work with them many times to just get a slap in the face.  I wouldn’t put up with it.

If he doesn’t want to go, but feels bad, then maybe you guys send a card to the house.  That way, you can still keep your distance.

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