Post # 1
A friend of mine found out in the fall that the beautiful baby boy that she was carrying (she was 4 months pregnant at the time) had a genetic disorder, which has no known cure, and caused his lungs to not develop, which meant that shortly after birth he would pass from this life.
I got an email from her husband on the weekend that Josiah was born on February 2, and indeed had died in their arms. They are having a service tomorrow afternoon.
But do I go? The mother, I have known for more than a decade, and I consider her to be a mentor of sorts … but I am not in her close circle or anything (she is also 13 years older than I am).
I’ve only ever been to my grandfather’s funeral and a friend of the family’s funeral … I just don’t know if it would be weird for me to be there … they haven’t said that it is just family and close friends … but I just don’t know.
I want to support her and her family … but I don’t want to tread on anyone’s toes.
Post # 3
Oh, that’s so sad. My heart goes out to them. I would go. I think her husband sending you the info was their way of inviting you and asking you to be there. Go support your friend, even if it’s from a distance. It’ll mean so much.
Post # 4
If it’s nearby, I’d go.
If not, bring a casserole by and a heartfelt card.
If you don’t want to go see her or anything (some people are very awkward about other grieving people), send some houseplants and a nice card.
But i would go to the service
Post # 5
I suggest you go. The gesture means so much to someone going through something this difficult. She’ll really appreciate it. It never hurts to support a friend.
Post # 6
Absolutely go. If they reached out to you then it was their way of inviting you, and probably menas they would really enjoy your support. It would mean a lot that you be there
Post # 7
I would go as well. A grieving person can never have too many hugs!
Post # 8
I’m sorry. Since she invited you, I’m sure that she would like you to be there. I would go to the service. She probably needs everyone’s support.
Post # 9
I would totally go. When my boyfriend passed away 2 years ago one of my close friend didn’t come and I remember it vividly. Even if you’re not that close I would still go, it means so much to have people you love when you are grieving.
Post # 10
I’d go, even though it’s probably one of the hardest things you are going to do. Be there to support your friends. They’ll be so grateful.
Post # 11
I would absolutely go. Sometimes, it’s just helpful to know that people are there for you. And after you go, definitely go see her in the weeks to come. It’s going to be a long grieving process for her, and a shoulder to cry on would be the best thing you could do.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I would go. You don’t have to say much, but knowing that you are there would probably mean a lot to her and she’ll remember it later.
Post # 13
- Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna
One word: Go.
By emailing you he is telling you they want you there. When I lost my father one of the most comforting things was seeing people who I may not have seen in a year but who cared enough to come all that way to support us.
Post # 14
I would say if you are able to then go. It shows support and in a time like this Im sure they could use all of it that they can get. Its comforting for people to know that they have friends that care about them and that they can count on and going will show them that you are there for them.
Post # 15
I agree wholeheartedly with adias.angel. When my mom died, it was really moving to see how many people attended her service. I didn’t know all of the people there, but it still meant a lot to me that they all came.
Post # 16
thank you all for the comments and support. I did end up going, and am happy I did, knowing that my friend felt loved and supported. Though it was single handedly (sp?) the most heart wrenching experience I have ever been through. There is something profoundly wrong about a casket being that small *sigh*.