- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2008
Sorry for the long post but thanks for reading it.
Mr Pickle has a situation. A big one and I can’t really help him but he thought I should check with the Hive and see what others have to say.
Mr Pickle and his sister had a very close relationship growing up. A few years ago she started secretly dating a douche bag friend of his that he had “broken-up” with. I had decided not to have a relationship with the douche 6-8 months prior after he got into a verbal fight with my Uncle and Father at a family BBQ. Now SIL Pickle and the douche are getting married.
Through the few years they have been together the Pickle family has been torn apart. No one likes the douche. Everyone, friends, family, etc have made comments him, his rudeness, etc. and my Mother-In-Law Pickle says , “Well, at least he doesn’t beat her.”
At our Halloween party, Mother-In-Law Pickle got drunk and started yelling and crying at me in front of our guests that I hated her, I was a bad DIL, I was the reason SIL Pickle is avoiding the family and I’m ruining her life and making it so she can’t have fun planning her wedding. She then went on to blame her family falling apart on me and Father-In-Law Pickle be cause she sees us as the ones who dislike the douche the most (which is not the case). Mr Pickle spoke with his mom about her behavior but she decided not to apologize or even acknowledge that the incident happened at all.
Fast forward to mid February, we were woken up by my Mother-In-Law calling to see if I was going to SIL’s bridal shower. I never got an invitation so I asked when was and she said in 2 hours!!! I then decided to tell her I couldn’t make it on such late notice and that it was really rude to be such an after-thought. She told me all the invites to the shower were lost in the mail but they didn’t know I wasn’t coming until they saw I hadn’t RSVP’d…How can people RSVP if all the invites are lost? In any case it was my fault again for hurting SIL Pickle’s feeling because she really misses me and wanted me to be apart of her day…blah blah blah. I’m so tired of the bull and my Mother-In-Law trying to overcompensate for her daughter being a brat. I tried to be diplomatic and told Mother-In-Law that from now on if my SIL misses me she can contact me directly. I have always been accessible – My phone, email, address, facebook, etc. haven’t changed in over 7 yrs. Mr Pickle said he was proud of how I handled the situation so that made me feel good.
So we finally got the wedding invite just shy of 4 weeks before the big day. I had already planned on going to my cousin’s bridal shower but I conceded to Mr Pickle that I will go to SIL wedding because he asked me too. He was happy that I agreed because he didn’t want to be alone there. I just told him that he needed to RSVP and we’d be set.
As most males do he forgot and put it off until the very last minute and that’s where the issue lies. He spoke to Father-In-Law Pickle and in their conversation he was told that SIL Pickle didn’t invite him to the wedding, he didn’t even know where or when it was. Now, Mr Pickle is really upset because even though their father doesn’t like the douche he still would have gone and behaved himself if he was invited because he loves his daughter. Mr Pickle is upset beyond words. He’s hurt for his father and the way he’s been disrespected. He doesn’t feel like going to the wedding is the right thing to do, not just because his Dad was not invited but because has had enough of his sister’s behavior, his mother’s manipulations, and the realism that they don’t have a relationship/family anymore.
So his question to the hive is: Should he go, only go to the wedding and leave before the reception, not go at all, other suggestions? Does he send in the RSVP late? Should he talk to his Mom and Sister? I can’t help him with this decision. I’ve told him that I will follow his lead in this and will do whatever he wants.
Thanks for your help and good advice. I know he’ll appreciate it.
Mrs. Pickle in a Pickle