To have a 3rd child

posted 4 months ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
1756 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Do you have a boy and girl currently?  My husband and i have a deal we would have 3 kids if our first 2 were 2 boys or 2 girls. If not, id so be happy with 2 kids. Three kids creates a middle child – im a middle child and no thanks. Also 3 kids is more for hotel rooms, most sleep 4. Also a lot of family packages are for 2 adults and 2 kids. 

Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Mrs2b2014 :  If you believe that you can finanically support 3 children you could always just stop trying to prevent pregnancy and see what happens. That way you and your husband aren’t upset whether it happens or not. 

Personally, my husband and I would like 3 kids. I don’t know anyone that regretted having a third. The only story I’ve heard that made the couple question if they made the right decision is my husbands boss told him that him and his wife wanted 4 children but the 4th pregnancy resulted in twins. They were not finanically prepared for 5 children so luckily he got a promotion so everything worked out fine. 

Post # 4
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We’re having our third in July and have a 3yo and a 1yo. It’s chaos, but it was something we wanted.  That said, we kind of accidentally got pregnant with our third. Given the state of mayhem around our house with our three-nager in full effect and our 1 year old still not sleeping through the night- I’m not sure if we had waited when we would have had a a move for three. So, no regrets here- I think if you’ve got the space and the financial means, then you probably have the love to give too. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m in the ‘hell noo’ Camp about a third baby. So much so that I’m being sterilised soon.

along with the financial reasons, every time I see a parent out on their own with 3 kids they just look miserable … I’m sure I must do a bit too with just my two. But that is serious outnumbered 

Post # 6
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m also in the “hell no” camp to a third kid. Here’s why –

1)outnumbered. You can’t go out and run errands with all 3 and hold each kids hand in the parking lot. have to take 2 strollers or one kid doesn’t ride (resulting in arguments). Hotels are built to sleep 4, going with 5 makes it more expensive (2 rooms or a suite). Rides at theme parks seat 2 usually, so someone always has to ride alone (at Disney World, kids under 7 aren’t allowed to ride without a parent next to them, but you cna’t leave a 6 year old alone while the other 4 ride, so it gets tricky). 

2) sheer cost – daycare, college, vacations, bigger car, etc, etc, etc

3) I like to sleep. My kids are almost 5 and almost 3. I feel like the end of sucky sleep is in sight and I want that desperatly. 

Post # 7
Member
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

also, finding a babysitter for 3 is harder than for 2. My mom does most of our babysitting for nights out and with 1 adult and 2 kids, it’s really hard. We don’t get weekends awya or things like that because, while she’s fit and healthy and great, watching 2 little kids for a full weekend is TIRING and it’s a lot to ask of 1 person. 

So think about date nights or time away with just your Darling Husband and think about who watches/will watch all the kids

Post # 8
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

For me, personally, going from one kid to two kids was the hardest. Going from two to three was actually pretty easy, by comparison. 

I already had most of the baby things I needed, I was already pretty much a “pro” at handling multiple kids by that point, and I was able to be a stay at home parent for a while by the time my 3rd baby came along. We didn’t do a lot of vacations, so extra hotel space, etc was never an issue for us. The older kids always really loved “helping” take care of the baby.

I ended up having 4 kids by the time it was all said and done, and even when the 4th came along by surprise a couple years later, I didn’t regret having more than 2 kids.

But then, I always wanted a big family, and now that they’re all grown (youngest is now 17), I can honestly say I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

ETA: Yes, finding a sitter for 3 (and then 4) kids was always a little more expensive (but not more difficult), and my ex and I didn’t get away for weekend excursions while they were little, but that period of time when 3 is a big handful (when they’re all little) is so short lived. By the time they were all over age 5 they were easy to handle for pretty much anyone.

Post # 9
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You and your hubby seem to come up with ideas on the “no” side, what is your “yes” side besides having the space in your house and car? 

Post # 10
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 1996

To me this is much more a decision of the heart than a decision of the head.  I have four kids.  The first two are boys and then we had our daughters.   When the third was born, the boys were 5 and 3.  I personally thought going from 1 to 2 was much harder than from 2 to 3.   When I had my third the two bigger ones could entertain eachother better and weren’t constantly trying to get my attention when I was nursing for example.  

If you decide to stop with 2 that is totally cool, but if you have a third you will never regret having him or her.  You love that child and you make it work.   Will it be hard?   Sure!    Will it be more expensive?  Sure!   But to me raising children and having my children have siblings is about much more than fitting in hotel rooms and fitting in a booth at a restaurant.     If you are financially stable, let your heart decide.   Good luck!  

Post # 11
Hostess
3768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I don’t have kids, but am one of three and we always were fine on vacations.  My parents just got a cot for my brother and called it a day. 

Post # 14
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Mrs2b2014 :  if it’s something you both want, then I’d just go for it. You can afford it responsibly, and it’s wanted.

And I say that as someone who DOES NOT WANT kids, to answer your question. I have a 14 year old, love him dearly, but zero desire to have more, and frankly would have been perfectly fine having no kids too.

I mean, don’t overthink it, ya know? I knew I never wanted more than my (loved, but unplanned) son, and never wavered if I should change my mind for arbitrary reasons, like vacations or whatnot. Speaking from a perspective of a mom who has a teen, it’s only about 10-12 years of their entire life stuff like that will be an issue, you can do workarounds for that amount of time.

Post # 15
Hostess
3768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Mrs2b2014 : Being one of three is all I know, so no I didn’t mind!  I am the oldest, so it was frustrating when my youngest sibling got more “perks” than me (not having to work through school, more leeway with hanging out with opposite sex friends, etc.), but I know parents tend to be more strict with the oldest regardless of how many kids follow, so it is what it is! 

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