(Closed) To have a seating chart or not???

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 31
Member
786 posts
Busy bee

yes. do assigned tables. as a guest i’ve always hated going to weddings and having a mad dash to find a spot to sit with people that you know. may be annoying for you but your guests will appreciate. 

Post # 32
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It is a falacy to think that with no assigned tables people get to sit with whom they want. That is just not true.  If they don’t do a mad dash to save seats, they may end up at tables where everyone else knows each other, and they are the odd two (or even worse, one). 

If people want to sit with certain others, they may have to be less than gracious (run in, throw purses and jackets on tables, tell others, nope we are saving, dont sit here).  Is this what you want at your wedding?

Post # 33
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

personally find it rude not to bother with seating plans… the same thing happens every time and you get 17 people crammed onto one table designed for 10 and 3 on another by themselves because everyone moves chairs round to fit where they want, others get isolated (especially out of towners or work friends who dont know many people) and families/couples get split up when they can find 2 or more seats together and important people end up getting rammed to the back on a first come first served attitude – its just laziness of the couple and causes problems for everyone else

Post # 34
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I am so in favor of assigned tables. Last wedding me & hub went to there was no one I felt confident we could sit with, they were such big & close families.

We were assigned a table where we were one of 4 middle-aged couples and didn’t know anyone. We all got along famously.

Post # 35
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

The contract with my venue states if we do not have a seating chart more tables will have to be placed out. People want to sit with people they know so will leave chairs empty at tables in order to not sit with strangers. I’d rather have less tables and more room to move around my venue. Also a seating chart allows a plan to be in place so no one feels awkward about who to sit with and where. It can be planned in advance to ensure everyone is sat with people they know and no one is left sitting alone or with strangers.

Post # 36
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Of all the weddings that I’ve been to with open seating, only one worked out because people knew not to leave a chair between each other.  This might have been a maritime thing too as I’ve noticed that in other restaurants.  There was one wedding with open seating that left me sitting by myself at this one table as they all gathered at this other table.  Yeah, can we say awkward much?  

Please do assigned seating (at least the same table and they can sort out who they want to sit beside).  It’s a huge lifesaver and will make us feel better sitting with at least one person that we know or with other people who are in the same situation as us! 🙂

Post # 37
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I would assign tables.  I’ve been to open seating weddings and it’s been more complicated than necessary.  People don’t know where to sit or people move chairs. I saw one person move peoples purses (used to save seats) to another table because she felt that she and her family should be able to sit closer to the head table since she did a reading and considered herself part of the wedding party. Being a single person at some of these weddings was tough too because your couple friends sit together and then you feel like a jerk for taking 1 chair and making another couple sit at another table, while you have this empty chair next to you.  If someone assigns it that way though its fine and usually there is no extra chair there.  Basically, people can be jerks or well-meaning, but confused/unsure.  A little structure avoids both.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by  happylove17.
Post # 38
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Hate open seating. It was so awkward. 

Post # 39
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Assigned tables help if there are people who shouldn’t be seated near each other, if there is anyone who doesn’t know many people, if there are aggressive types who might try to take over absent a plan.  Also, think about how people are getting into the room.  If they are all coming from another location, people may trickle in over time and be able to save seats for people on the way, but if people are going straight in from a ceremony or cocktail hour location in the same building, then the groups at the back of the line will be left with whatever seats are left and end up not being able to sit together.  Also, I feel like everyone has someone or two who is socially awkward or reticent and might not know who to sit down with.  If you have anyone like that do you think they will be able to find a table or your other guests will offer them a seat?

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