Post # 1
I have three friends that are sisters. I am Close to each of them differently, I am almost like a 4th sister(that’s what we always say) each one is special to me in different ways. I also am including my aunt who I am very close to(sister like) My problem is to choose one of them to be maid/matron of honor(only one of four is single). I am thinking that I want to just have bride’s girls no maids matrons honor stuff. Is that rude to not designate one more “special” than the other. Like I said, all have different specialness(I like made-up words). Is it lazy/non-sincere to not choose?.
With that question I have a SIL that I really dont chat with, hardly see(and we live 2 miles apart), that had me in her wedding to my brother.
She is a strange sort that never invites my mother and I to her kids(previous relations) b-day parties or even blood nephews parties.
I feel no emotions towards her and never pictured her in my wedding since she acts like this(never mean or rude- just distant and not family like) is that wrong to not ask her(she is also the other best friend to my best friend-so i wonder if its a “competiton /my friend thing” that she acts like it, that she is uncomfortable )
so i dont feel i should, Am I wrong.
ok sorry to probably make no sense. any suggestions
Post # 3
It’s fine to not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. In that case it is usual to call them all bridesmaids.
Post # 4
@techheather: It is up to you ultimately, but I don’t think that I could do that in regards to your SIL. I am not going to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, just my four sisters as bridesmaids.
Post # 5
It’s totally fine to not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. If your aunt is going to be in it, she can be your Maid/Matron of Honor…that way you don’t hurt your friend’s feelings and cause problems among sisters.
Post # 6
I’m not having one. I barely had bridesmaids because I don’t like the idea of picking favorites, but I am going to have bms after all. But no moh.
Post # 7
You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor. And I wouldn’t worry about asking your SIL. It was nice of her to ask you since she was marrying your brother, but there’s no direct familial connection in your wedding, right?
Post # 8
@araina126: I would but aunt lives in SC and just adopted twin babies so i think she will be tpp busy
@mcp3x: you would have her in the wedding, the SIL? I am feeling guilty , like If i ask her I hope she would just say no.haha our friend between us even says dont if im not feeling it. I was feeling her out about it since they are best buds and just wondered if they talked about it. We go way back many years and the SIL and her, half of that in years maybe
@AlwaysSunny: it was nice of her to ask and i think it was a way to start a relationship per say, but it never really hit it off, and fell flat, nice gesture but now seems forced… always sunny in philidelpia?? lol
sigh. sometimes eloping sounds good haha. I then get into a pinch that i got too many Bridesmaids for amount of groomsmen, i cant get Fiance to pick, he really doesnt have a ton of close close friends and gonna probably be off count wise, and that is bothersome to me, but Ive decided to get over it. Also having Fiance daughter and her friend(my one bmaids daughter) as jr bmaids but no flowergirls i think. soI am gonna have 6 girls and a few guys ugh…
Post # 9
I have 3 BM’s and did not have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I couldn’t pick as they are all special to me in different ways.
The only problem I’m finding with this is for things like toasts – who does one?
Post # 10
@techheather: Yes! I love that show. Well at least the earlier seasons, now it’s a bit forced.
Post # 11
It’s totally fine to not have a Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 12
As a person who was recently in a wedding with no moh. All I can say is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give tasks to certain people! And let people involved in the wedding (ie event coordinators) know there is no moh. The bridal shower and the batchorlette party both nearly didn’t get planned for this wedding. There were more than 4 of us and no one wanted to step on another’s toes by stepping forward and planning certain things. I suggest divide the girls in half on planning those things or start telling them now to get talking. You might be in better standing with 3 of them being sisters but it was major awkwardness when only a few know each other out of the group!
Id figure out now how you want them to stand. Because first thing we got asked by the planner the day if the rehearsal was “where’s your moh they’re suppose to be standing next to you”. Personally for me it was awkward and uncomfortable standing there all of us staring at the bride as she was put center stage being told to pick one of us. The girl who ended up getting used kept being called the moh by the planner (when she wasn’t… Cause none of us were…)
unfortantely the way the whole situation was handled for the wedding I was in. i don’t beleive any of us all felt “equally” special. I think we just felt like the bride couldnt commit and that was her “out” I would’ve felt more equally valued with all the girls if we had been broken into groups to do different tasks (the shower the batch. Party etc) because those are primarily moh tasks to complete. By each of us having a small bit to do I think we would’ve felt more special to the bride. But that’s just my thoughts and feel on the situation 🙂
Post # 13
@techheather: Then I vote to just have BMs.
Post # 14
@seabyme: Thanks for thoughts, i think with the 3 sisters it will be fine, shower and bach party wise. thats where im scared, to commit lol. Ill keep thinking on it. they know im indecisive and all that anyways all the time,
@AlwaysSunny: we love that show too. watched most on netflix, havent seen all of this last season i dont think yet, we watch newest at mt Future Mother-In-Law house.
@Glasgowbound: and the toast, Yeah i have no idea, as i think 3 of the four would want to say something, and the fourth, well she is awkward at times and i a afraid foot in mouth moment lol.