Post # 1
A little background… we have been TTC for 10 or 11 months (can’t believe its been that long!) and obviously, there has been no BFP despit being young, healthy, and regular (periods, that is! Ha)
However, each time we plan something… a vacation, an adventure, etc. I always say, well I could be pregnant and might not be able to do that (if it applies). For instance, we are thinking of a winter gettaway and dh got excited about snowboarding. I jumped right in and said that he might be snowboarding alone because i might be pregnant. This has been going on since we first started ttc… and we are not preggers yet and now I feel we missed out on some things because I was hesitant to plan… you know, just in case I did get that beautiful BFP. i had no idea it would be taking us this long and i have no idea when it will happen. Every month I pray it is the right time but seems like the big man upstairs has other plans.
So my question for all you ttcers… how do you not put your future on hold with the possibility of maybe baby?
Post # 3
I don’t think I’d be doing anything all that differently until I was actually pregnant.
Post # 4
We have been ttc for 27 cycles now and I used to think the exact same way. You just have to turn that thinking off. If you believe in God, which it sounds like you do, your baby will come at the perfect time. I know that’s hard to hear because trust me, I know, it gets old. But seriously, don’t put your life on hold because you might be pregnant later. You also might not be pregnant. Enjoy your life and then figure out yours plan once you get pregnant.
Post # 5
@Sbee82: I have been trying for also 10 months and in a week or two will start cycle 11. Thankfully, for us, we plan things around our area, so if we are pregnant, we can always cancel it, you know, but guess what? we never had to because we never got pregnant. Our goal now is to save up for a great baby moon! We start IUI next cycle. GL to you, girlie and try to enjoy life as it is, if you are pregnant then cancel it.
Post # 6
We just planned vacations anyway. We went to Germany in February, and I got pregnant in Nov. Then I had a mc in January, but for a few weeks we were trying to figure out if it would be ok for me to go skiing at the beginning of my 2nd trimester.
Now I am pregnant again — fingers crossed that it sticks this time — and we have a trip to France planned around Labor Day. So, no raw cheese or French wine for me :-/
I suggest making plans but have a pregnancy contingency built in (i.e., alternative activities in the same location that you will still enjoy).
Post # 7
I’m trying to work on this mindset as well. I try to really not restrict anything we do because I “might” be pregnant. However, I do use it as a reason for us to go ahead and do things now. For example, my husband wanted to run a marathon this fall. I told him to go ahead and do it now because I have no problem with him devoting a lot of time to training while I am pregnant. But, if we have an infant next summer, it might be harder to get the training in.
Post # 8
I am in the mindset that if it is meant to be it will happen. I say go ahead and plan away! Even if you do have to cancel something, at least it will be for a pretty exciting reason!
Post # 9
We knew we were going to TTC this summer but in the mean time have continued to plan all of our travels. We actually tried this cycle & if I do get my BFP it’ll be when we are in Denmark getting ready to cruise the baltic. If I do end up KU, I guess we won’t have a big bar tab on the ship. We also planned a trip to Belize this winter (November) and I figured if I am KU I can still enjoy the beach, hiking etc, just no scuba diving (I’m not even certified, but i obviouslly wouldn’t be able to do it.) We don’t really plan big vacations more then 6 months in advance (we don’t have any trips scheduled for 2014) so we’ll just take it one cycle at a time and see how it goes.
Post # 10
We’ve also been TTC for 10 cycles, will be 11 in about two weeks, and I’m really trying to snap out of this mindset. I think the combination of no success thus far and continuously discussing TTC is starting to get to DH, so I’m trying to be mindful of what I say. We haven’t planned any trips or activities that could be effected, but it’s such a huge factor in how we plan our year that it’s hard to ignore it.
In some instances I feel like the “what if” talk is unavoidable. For example, we have our best friend’s wedding coming up in mid 2014. I’m in the wedding and the logistics of attending childless/pregnant/with a young baby are very different. We have been private about our TTC efforts so neither bride nor groom to be know. How do I handle dress shopping? Look for a bridesmaid dress that comes in maternity? A dress that I can nurse in? If we were successful this month we could potentially have a 5 month old at the wedding, if not who knows? That uncertainly makes it difficult to plan.
Post # 11
@Sbee82: I’m also in cycle 11 of TTC. Its been really hard to continue to live normally. I don’t have any tips other than as each cycle goes by it gets easier in a way to just say “screw it” I’m planning X or doing X”. Re: the winter getaway, I’d love to go to just sit by a nice fire and read. I say book it, the worst that happens is you have to take short walks with snowshoes instead if snowboarding. It would be a lovely babymoon!
Also, I’d suggest you head to your doctor and ask for some basic blood tests. I have perfectly normal periods and predictable ovulation days but blood tests found I have extremly low progestrone.
Post # 12
@Sbee82: Aw man, this is exactly my girlfriend. I can’t remember how many times I’ve heard her say it, for everything…I feel so bad for her. They’ve been stuck in saying this for a year. I don’t know, I think you just have to live your life and keep trying and then whenever it happens then you make adjustments.
Post # 13
I would definintely think Sods Law would play, and if you plan to do something that you reeeeeeeeally want to do, but couldn’t if you were preggers, you’d get pregnant
Post # 14
I know it’s not quite the same thing, but I’ve recently been struggling with the same mindset about moving states. Like not planning activities or avoiding buying tickets for shows as we might not be living here then. I was increasingly aware how much I was missing out on things.
I decided to plan as if nothing will change as we don’t know when it might change. So I’m consciously making decisions to that effect eg I booked flights to attend a wedding where we’re hoping to move because we don’t know that we’ll have moved by then. Hope that makes sense. I’m having the same situation now planning our honeymoon as we’ll have been ttc for 5 months by then. So I probably need to take my own advise!
I reckon it’s worth stopping and thinking if it’s something very expensive or you couldn’t claim back if you cancelled, but otherwise make the most of the time you have to do all the things you’re thinking of. You might find you love the feeling of not restricting yourself.
Post # 15
Thanks everyone!! Reading everyones comments made me realize that I knew all this advice… just have not following it. Isn’t the saying true, you ask for advice when you already know the answer!? Ha!
But thank you again, I needed to hear it all from you bees and start living life again. It will happen when its suppose to happen… and I’m now booking a trip for wine tasting next month! hehe And if I have to cancel it… I think I will be okay (and of course ecstatic)
Baby dust and love to everyone!
Post # 16
I keep telling myself there isn’t going to be a perfect time. If I get pregnant in the next few months I will have my baby in April/May. That would suck because we are planning a trip to Chicago in June. If I wait and get pregnant later, then I will be pregnant for the trip and do I want to be out in the summer heat with a big pregnant belly?
I just keep telling myself when it happens, it happens, and I am not going to miss out on life with my DH because of a “what if.” He’s too important to me, and I have far too much fun with him.