(Closed) To how stop living life in the "Well, we might be preggers then!"

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t think I’d be doing anything all that differently until I was actually pregnant.

Post # 4
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We have been ttc for 27 cycles now and I used to think the exact same way. You just have to turn that thinking off. If you believe in God, which it sounds like you do, your baby will come at the perfect time. I know that’s hard to hear because trust me, I know, it gets old. But seriously, don’t put your life on hold because you might be pregnant later. You also might not be pregnant. Enjoy your life and then figure out yours plan once you get pregnant.

Post # 5
3910 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Sbee82:  I have been trying for also 10 months and in a week or two will start cycle 11.    Thankfully, for us, we plan things around our area, so if we are pregnant, we can always cancel it, you know, but guess what? we never had to because we never got pregnant.  Our goal now is to save up for a great baby moon!  We start IUI next cycle.  GL to you, girlie and try to enjoy life as it is, if you are pregnant then cancel it. 

Post # 6
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We just planned vacations anyway.  We went to Germany in February, and I got pregnant in Nov.  Then I had a mc in January, but for a few weeks we were trying to figure out if it would be ok for me to go skiing at the beginning of my 2nd trimester.

Now I am pregnant again — fingers crossed that it sticks this time — and we have a trip to France planned around Labor Day.  So, no raw cheese or French wine for me :-/

I suggest making plans but have a pregnancy contingency built in (i.e., alternative activities in the same location that you will still enjoy).

Post # 7
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m trying to work on this mindset as well.  I try to really not restrict anything we do because I “might” be pregnant.  However, I do use it as a reason for us to go ahead and do things now.  For example, my husband wanted to run a marathon this fall.  I told him to go ahead and do it now because I have no problem with him devoting a lot of time to training while I am pregnant.  But, if we have an infant next summer, it might be harder to get the training in.  Wink


Post # 8
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am in the mindset that if it is meant to be it will happen. I say go ahead and plan away! Even if you do have to cancel something, at least it will be for a pretty exciting reason!

Post # 9
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We knew we were going to TTC this summer but in the mean time have continued to plan all of our travels. We actually tried this cycle & if I do get my BFP it’ll be when we are in Denmark getting ready to cruise the baltic. If I do end up KU, I guess we won’t have a big bar tab on the ship.  We also planned a trip to Belize this winter (November) and I figured if I am KU I can still enjoy the beach, hiking etc, just no scuba diving (I’m not even certified, but i obviouslly wouldn’t be able to do it.) We don’t really plan big vacations more then 6 months in advance (we don’t have any trips scheduled for 2014) so we’ll just take it one cycle at a time and see how it goes. 

Post # 10
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We’ve also been TTC for 10 cycles, will be 11 in about two weeks, and I’m really trying to snap out of this mindset. I think the combination of no success thus far and continuously discussing  TTC is starting to get to DH,  so I’m trying to be mindful of what I say. We haven’t planned any trips or activities that could be effected, but it’s such a huge factor in how we plan our year that it’s hard to ignore it.

In some instances I feel like the “what if” talk is unavoidable. For example, we have our best friend’s wedding coming up in mid 2014. I’m in the wedding and the logistics of attending childless/pregnant/with a young baby are very different. We have been private about our TTC efforts so neither bride nor groom to be know. How do I handle dress shopping? Look for a bridesmaid dress that comes in maternity? A dress that I can nurse in? If we were successful this month we could potentially have a 5 month old at the wedding, if not who knows? That uncertainly makes it difficult to plan.

Post # 11
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Sbee82:   I’m also in cycle 11 of TTC. Its been really hard to continue to live normally. I don’t have any tips other than as each cycle goes by it gets easier in a way to just say “screw it” I’m planning X or doing X”. Re: the winter getaway, I’d love to go to just sit by a nice fire and read. I say book it, the worst that happens is you have to take short walks with snowshoes instead if snowboarding. It would be a lovely babymoon!

Also, I’d suggest you head to your doctor and ask for some basic blood tests. I have perfectly normal periods and predictable ovulation days but blood tests found I have extremly low progestrone.

Post # 12
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Sbee82:  Aw man, this is exactly my girlfriend. I can’t remember how many times I’ve heard her say it, for everything…I feel so bad for her. They’ve been stuck in saying this for a year. I don’t know, I think you just have to live your life and keep trying and then whenever it happens then you make adjustments.


Post # 13
656 posts
Busy bee

I would definintely think Sods Law would play, and if you plan to do something that you reeeeeeeeally want to do, but couldn’t if you were preggers, you’d get pregnant Wink

Post # 14
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I know it’s not quite the same thing, but I’ve recently been struggling with the same mindset about moving states. Like not planning activities or avoiding buying tickets for shows as we might not be living here then. I was increasingly aware how much I was missing out on things.

I decided to plan as if nothing will change as we don’t know when it might change. So I’m consciously making decisions to that effect eg I booked flights to attend a wedding where we’re hoping to move because we don’t know that we’ll have moved by then. Hope that makes sense. I’m having the same situation now planning our honeymoon as we’ll have been ttc for 5 months by then. So I probably need to take my own advise!

I reckon it’s worth stopping and thinking if it’s something very expensive or you couldn’t claim back if you cancelled, but otherwise make the most of the time you have to do all the things you’re thinking of. You might find you love the feeling of not restricting yourself.

Post # 16
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I keep telling myself there isn’t going to be a perfect time. If I get pregnant in the next few months I will have my baby in April/May. That would suck because we are planning a trip to Chicago in June. If I wait and get pregnant later, then I will be pregnant for the trip and do I want to be out in the summer heat with a big pregnant belly?

I just keep telling myself when it happens, it happens, and I am not going to miss out on life with my DH because of a “what if.” He’s too important to me, and I have far too much fun with him.

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