Post # 1
So I was friends with Girl A and Girl B in college. I went to both their weddings, but don’t really talk to them much anymore, and I don’t anticipate I will see either of them after my wedding, but I stayed in contact with A a little longer and always felt a little closer to her than B. They, however, are still good friends.
They were both on my borderline list to invite to the wedding, but I ended up inviting A and not B, partly cuz I felt slightly closer to her, but also cuz B now has a baby and so I anticipate her wanting to leave the reception earlier.
One of my BMs now sees B regularly and told me that B (who of course has heard about my wedding from A,) mentioned that she wondered if her invitation had been delivered to their old (incorrect) address.
I WOULD actually like to invite B, and I think I’ve had enough “no” rsvps that there is space, but I don’t want her to know she was “b-list!” So I like that I have the excuse “oh I must have sent it to the wrong address” and could email her. BUT… she might figure out by talking to A that she didn’t get invited to the shower, if I don’t mention it.
Post # 3
@red_rose: Isn’t it possible that if the invitation was sent to the “wrong address” then the shower invitation was sent to that “wrong address” as well?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2011 - Palma Sola Botanical Park
I would invite her if you want her there, which it sounds like it does. I wouldn’t make decisions for people regarding how long they’ll stay at the reception, etc. We invited people we knew probably wouldn’t even be able to make it to the wedding. Plus, you never know – she might end up closing the party down! You don’t have to lie. Just get in touch with her and ask for her updated address. Send the invite, and leave it at that.
Post # 4
@Neva: Yes, but my sister did go through and contact everyone who didn’t rsvp for the shower already (although she didn’t have to contact A, because she rsvped on her own! so B might not find out about that.)
@ladyfingers: good point. My Bridesmaid or Best Man that told me she didn’t really want me to mention her name, though, because B didn’t want her to say anything to me, cuz she didn’t want to seem rude like she was asking if she was invited. So should I email her and say nothing about an invitation being sent to the wrong address, or about my Bridesmaid or Best Man mentioning her, and just ask for her address, even though the rsvp date will be about a week after she gets the invite? (should I apologize in some way? “oh, sorry I didn’t send this sooner.” or “oh, sorry, I must have had the wrong address…someone mentioned you didnt get it.” ? either way sounds really awkward.)
Post # 5
I emailed her and said, “How are you? I’m so glad A just let me know that you haven’t received your invitation to my wedding! You are definitely invited! Please send me your correct address.”
she wrote back, “I hope you’re enjoying your last few weeks as a single lady! Please don’t feel like you have to invite me if there wasn’t enough room or whatever. I’ve just had a lot of important mail go to our previous address, and I was wondering if A knew if I was missing an invite…didn’t want you to think I was blowing you off.”
(eeep! why would she tell me I don’t have to invite her?! awkward…) oh well… such is wedding planning… 🙂
Post # 6
@red_rose: Seems like she was trying to be gracious and give you a ‘way out’ in case there isn’t space for her to be invited… I wouldn’t think anything of it.