(Closed) To invite or not invite

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2640 posts
Sugar bee

So sorry to hear you’ve hit a bump in the road.  Is the SIL’s snarkiness likely to be just some comments, or a drunken embarrassing obnoxious scene?  I guess my point is if she is just going to be pouty and keep it "roughly" to herself, maybe just invite them.  You will be far too busy to be hanging out with her.  If she is likely to get plastered and slug someone, that is a different story.

It sounds like you feel obligated to invite them.  I can appreciate that.  You also mentioned that they might not come because SIL is sick.  Again, I’d lean towards inviting them.  However, if you think she’ll make a big scene, maybe don’t invite them (easy for me to say) or invite them and have a contingency plan. Like make sure they understand your reception won’t be the place for someone kicking off or their gone.  Or have someone be prepared to escort them out.

Also, I’m sorry your brother is having a hard time with your faimly. I’m sure there are some difficulties has had to deal with, with your mother passing and his own father being a deadbeat.  He probably feels a bit disconnected from you all, and perhaps he’s felt like an orphan, for a while.  But it sounds like your dad is super special.  I hope you all can repair the situation. 

Good luck.

Post # 4
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

That’s frustrating.

I would invite them for formality’s sake and hope that they don’t come. In the chance that they do come, sit them will people who won’t put up with their snarky comments or have someone play "security guard" and ask them to leave if SIL becomes too obnoxious.

Good luck!

Post # 6
596 posts
Busy bee

Are there any family members that could babysit them the day of, to make sure they stay away from you and are on their best behavior, at least around you? 

Post # 7
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I say invite…you guys may not have the best relationship now, but who knows what the future may bring.  Not inviting them at all while probably lead to many hurt feelings.  I have two older half-sisters so I understand how you feel…hopefully, SIL will keep he rmouth shut and just be nice for the day.

Post # 8
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

If you think you should invite them, then you know your answer. Even though you’re afraid they will make a scene, I don’t think they would come. They haven’t spoken to you in how long? I think it would be a nice gesture to invite them, and as Emileee suggested, enlist the help of friends or uncles who could ‘watch’ them and make SURE they behave. We have someone like this who we aren’t inviting, and we’ve told a few guests if they see her, she needs to be escorted out.

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